Hello All:

Been a while. At the beginning of this year, I made up my mind that the only solution for me is to stand for the woman I Love and for the marriage I treasured, but sadly squandered. And as of late, I have been on an upswing in accepting this as my fate. However, last evening and this morning, I have been in "doubt land" again and I very nearly called to the woman I dated during 2003, but with whom I ended things at the beginning of this year. What triggered this was something so simple. My daughter spent time with my her mother (my x-wife) yesterday. When she came home, she had with her a small stack of teen magazines which are published by the company for which my x-wife`s lover works. Everytime I see that publisher`s logo, I just seem to get all unbalanced. It is a symbol of the relationship which has caused such unbearable pain. My x-wife`s lover has never met my children, but instead these magazines keep showing up. My x-wife knows that these magazines hurt me, but she keeps forwarding them to my children. I don`t need to ask whether I am over-reacting because I know that I am, but this is real pain, and it hurts so much. And if I react this way, (again nearly reaching out to another woman) it also causes me to wonder the level of my commitment to re-building my marriage. I feel very double-minded; perhaps simply due to the profound loneliness brought on by divorce.

Has anyone else found themselves on this fence?

Standing in Finland