Last month WS and I had a greaT time together, we were getting to the point of re establishing our lost relationship, we did ever thing except the sex part. All of a sudden March hits around and she completely did a 360 and was back in this moody, depressed state. She does not want to be touched. Am I setting myself up for failure here? Are these typical symptoms of withdrawal?

All Alone

Maybe she is just afraid to go back to how things were. If so you need to reassure her that things are different and will never be the same as they were. This can't necessarily be done with words either.

How fast were things moving for you?

Did things seem to be going back to the way they used to be for you?

Is it possible that she has been talking to someone, IC or friend that may be discouraging her.

I don't recall your story but wasn't there an OM involved.

If so , could he be back in the picture?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How fast were things moving for you?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Moving slow, taking it one day at a time. I sense that she may think I am taking too much time, but I am trying to rebuild her trust right now and it is very difficult for me to think of anything else.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Did things seem to be going back to the way they used to be for you? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No I am trying my utmost best to give her what she lacked from me, but it seems she is having a hard time believing it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is it possible that she has been talking to someone, IC or friend that may be discouraging her.

I don't think so, her friend that she truly trust, told her that she would be a fool not trying to repair the damage she had done to me and the kids.

[QUOTE]I don't recall your story but wasn't there an OM involved

Yes there was OM involved, in brief, met OM via phone, ran off with him, left the kids with me, I am custodial parent. She abandon her kids for almost a year, OM moved to Vegas told her that she needs to be with her kids.

[QUOTE]If so , could he be back in the picture </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is still drawn to him, she thinks that she is in love with him.

I try very hard to change things, she says that she had a void in her life, that part I felt we both had because I too felt a void. Our kids took center stage throughout our marriage and we both forgot about each other in the process. I assure her many times that I am going to change and be a better (X)husband. I don't know if she feels that our rebuilding should happen over night but to me it takes alot of time. Should action speak louder than words?

If both of you are dedicated to rebuilding you love for eachother than you should be seeing a good MC. Make sure you have one that is completely pro-marriage and don't be shy about finding a new one if you don't think things are moving along.

Are you seeing a MC?

That is a different story...... When we were talking about rebuilding our marriage/relationship she was the one who suggested that we go to MC, well I am still waiting for her to call one. If I did it she would not go or have something to say about it.

She said to me that "she can't forgive herself for what she did". What does this mean?

I moved on and pretty much forgived her. Can't go back, just got to move on.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If I did it she would not go or have something to say about it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Remind her, or at least tell her"You know, your right, we should be seeing a MC. I think it would help us a lot"

Let her keep the credit for the idea and see where it leads

WIWH