6 months ago, I left my home at STBXW's request, at the time it was supposed to be temporary but it doesn't look like I'll ever be back.(May have to change my screen name).

Things have not gone to well lately and I am starting to loose trust in her. Not sure how decieving she is realy being.

If she turns into a total B, can it be held against me in D that I was the one that left, even if I did it for her and kids at her request?

I posted quite some time ago about going back home and telling her that if she wants out, then she would have to leave. I have recently been advised to do this again. I didn't before because it would not have made things better but I don't see things getting better anymore.

WIWH

WIWH

My WW was the one who moved out, as it turned out I eventually had custody of my children. My lawyer had suggested that I not move and it worked out well in my favor.

So you wanana know: yes it can bite you in the A$$

'Y know what I have learned after my Divorce 5 1/2 years ago?
EVERYTHING in my past just keeps coming back to bite me in the A$$!
I just deal with it and keep moving on, never looking back. Some folks (ones in 'the fog') never learn and are hell-bent on throwing away a once-good life with BOTH HANDS. Peeps like that are beyond help, because they refuse to admit they can ever be wrong, because they're (in their eyes) perfect in every way.
All you can do is just do your best and 'take the high road' and you'll always know that you did your best and gave it your all; therefore, you are NOT responsible for the mess your X has made...
JMHE,
Harold

I believe as long as you are still supporting her & the kids, this cannot be viewed as desertion by the courts.

Check out FreeAdvice.com for free legal advice--you can send them specific questions and they'll answer according to what state you live in.

EmeraldLady is right - it is NOT desertion.
One other small note:
The more times you get 'bit in the A$$' the less it hurts..
Perhaps that is why my fannie is NUMB now...
HLT

All Alone Again ,

Well I'm glad for you that she is the one that got it in the end, if you get my pun.

EmeraldLady & Sauron TDL,

I didn't think that it could be desertion and I am going to get leagal advice on this and other situations

And Harold

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> All you can do is just do your best and 'take the high road' and you'll always know that you did your best and gave it your all; therefore, you are NOT responsible for the mess your X has made </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you. Thats the most encouraging thing I've heard all day.

WIWH

Yes it can
Get to a lawyerASAP. Esp. if you aren't seeing the kids.

It depends. But in many states, it can hurt.

Hi WIWH - thank you for your kind comment - and I assure you: do take the 'high road' and it will probably hurt at first, because I know right now, if you feel like I did, you want to make their life miserable like they've done yours. It's human nature.
Butt - believe me, you will look back at this a year later, 2 years later, and for the rest of your life...
and you will sleep good at night - knowing you returned good for evil. Your conscience is clear and you will have NO regret nor will you feel any responsibility when you later find out what a horrible MESS your X has made out of things.
My X's life has been pretty bad - and it got worse after I left - although I let her take everything of our joint possessions, it was not a 50/50 split - it was a 97/3 split and I left her with no debt but the house mortgage that she lived in - I took some crappy apartment a few miles away and paid for it myself with the little bit of income I had back then...
Her life got worse and worse. Mine got better after awhile.
Do I feel guilty or responsible at all?
NOPE. Didn't then and I don't now.
Things WILL get better for you - it just takes a little time. Stay on this site. Post. Pray. Vent. You have sympathetic friends here who have been thru this all before.
You're going to do allright!
Sincerely, Harold

Harold,

Thanx again. Your absolutely right. There are time that I want to make her life misserable for what she has decided to turn mine into.

If I felt like she mad a valid attempt to try, maybe I would feel different.

Why shouldn't I make this cold hearted, decieving liar suffer. I can only think of 4 reasons

DD3,DD5,DD8&DD10

So for now I am going to try to get a little leagal advice and stay on that high road the best I can.

I just need to make sure that I cover my back if she starts playing dirty.

WIWH

Yah, my X used to always go around spouting this one to me: "What goes around, comes around" She used to throw this one up in my face ALL the time...
hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Gee - for one (her) who could do no wrong... something, I don't know what, but something came back and bit her in the a$$ pretty good... The last I heard, it's STILL biting her...
You know what?
It's NOT my problem - heheeee That's another one she used to throw to me..
Can you see how DISRESPECTFUL people act and what happens to them?
Your X's time is coming, and you can sail right on past her knowing that whatever happens to her was NOT your fault - this one is on her!
That sure makes it a lot easier for me to sleep at night and whenever I hear about more problems my X is having... OOOOOOO Well! Sux to be her...
JME,
Harold

Actually I get a lot of "You never said that" or I don't remember you saying that"

But usually it it "Thats not what you said, you said this" which end up being her own off the wall interpretation of what I say.

I agree that she will get hers. She is going to start getting a taste of reality as things roll along. And then I can say"But this is what you wanted"

I also KNEW that her memory was NOT as good as she swore it was. Butt (there's that big butt again hehe) when she was perfect in every way, of course she couldn't be wrong! So, it was always 'my fault' yadda yadda... Yeah, right.. what --- ever.
Life without her will get better and as you work thru your hurt and work on your daughters and having a decent relationship maintained, you and them will realize that.
I wish you the very best,
Harold (TDL)