Ok, I know I'm new, but this isn't actually a question, but a piece of advice I got from a child therapist...


Regarding pictures, children's projects, family mementos... it's important that this stuff end up in BOTH of the places where the children are to stay.

Regarding pictures, it's important to make sure that BOTH households have pictures of the kids. The great thing about this is, that in today's technologically driven world, that doesn't mean that one of you have to give up your favorite photos or that you have to have pics of the ex hanging in the hall. Simply make copies and, if possible, crop the ex out of the photo. I thought making copies of the pictures was genious. I have an HP Officejet at home for my business and it prints out truly photo-quality pictures. I intend on printing out a bunch and getting them framed for my stbx to take with him to his new apartment. And, because I know my girls will like it, I plan on leaving his pictures up on our photo wall. But, that's just me....

Regarding school projects, I have a harder time with this, but I understand the point behind it. I really want to keep her school projects for when she's grown-up. But, the projects that he HAS helped with (for which there are two) I am going to offer to let him take with him to his office or home, as he sees fit... I just plan on asking him to return them if he ever wants to get rid of them.

That is an excellent idea. To share, for the kids sake. And making an offer of returning them to you if he wants to get rid of them.

I too, am making a photo book for each of my kids. They can have a full photo album, with pictures of their childhood. This is going to be a long process, and I hope to beable to give it to them in about a year or so.

The fathers, need to have memories if they want the memories. Otherwise, just keep all the pictures for you and the children.

Divorce puts a hardship on everyone. Good job, and God bless you.

Now I am at home with the kids, and when my wife left she took all the photos. She said she would make copies of the ones she wants me to have. Isn't that nice. Get this.... She didnt want her photo ending up on the internet!! What the Hell is that about? BUT< the way she does things in a timely manner, I am sure I will have them placed on top of my casket as they lower me from this level. I want to call them marital property. Now, how much is a steamer trunk full of 20 years worth of photos? I will need to know for our settlement... Thanks.

Hey Caly!

You know my situation, and even then, I've put pics of the 4 1/2 yr old with his dad in his room. In a double frame on the left is a pic of me and Eric, and on the right, and pic of Eric and his dad.

The ex's pics are all still in the photo albums... but NO WAY will one EVER hang on the walls in MY HOME again!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> (had to vent that one out).

As far as the ex getting copies of pics... again, I was nice enough to do that for him. I'm one of those people who ALWAYS get double prints when I put my pics in for processing (yes, I have one of those "old fashioned" cameras... non-digital, that requires 35mm film. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ). So I went through all of the extra prints (I keep in a shoe box), and took out any pics I had with him in it... whether the pics were with me or the boys, it didn't matter... I put them all together, and gave them to my lawyer to give to his lawyer. I assume he got them. Although no word of "thanks" was ever issued. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> (not that that's surprising... as I never did receive any thanks from his ENTIRE FAMILY either, after I forwarded ALL of them a copy of the LAST PICTURE taken of Andrew before he died... I guess that apple doesn't fall too far from the tree after all... or would that be "nut"??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ).

That was too long. But vents are always needed by me, for my healing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

Well, as Mastercard says, the memories are "Priceless." You really can't assess a value on them. What you COULD do is see if the lawyers can't arrange for copies to be made, or have some kind of division written into the divorce agreement?

Topie, I certainly understand why your Ex wouldn't hang on your walls. My sitch is slightly different; while my husband is a HUGE pain in the butt; he really isn't on the same plane. If he were, we wouldn't have his photos hanging on our walls, either. As it stands, he's his own worst enemy and not mine at all, so the few photos he's let us take will stay up.