Hi,
Exh and I seperated in July 03. I had suspected an affair before but was denied by him. Found out that he and ow shacked up in Jan 04. It turned out that he and ow had had an affair for two years before we seperated.Yuck!!!! Now he is D the Disneyland Dad literally. He is taking our 9 year old daughter to Disneyland for spring break. Thank God it is just the two of them because she has repeatedly expressed that she does not want to meet the girlfriend. What is it with men and younger women? Are there any good men out there????

Me 37 and 9 year old Daughter.
Him 35 OW 23
Please respond. I need some encouragement and support

Hi Merm,
I'm sorry you found out he had been having an A for two years previous. That extra betrayal probably eats at you. At least my H admitted it early on.

It's nice he wants to take your daughter on a trip....but what makes you so sure he's not bringing the OW with them to Disneyland?

What is your current marital situation? Are you divorced? If separated, do you desire reconciliation?

I'm not familiar with your story, so can't really comment further. But yes, I believe there are still good men out there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 13, 2004, 02:10 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi merm:

I don't have much to offer you, except that your thread title intrigued me. My WS and I have been planning to take our 4 children to DL for some time. We separated in July last year - after I put a good percentage of our DL money into the DL account - and now, of course, my WS has no intention of letting me go with them. Of course, I have no desire to go with her anyway.

Most men who are unfaithful, even not being old at 35, desire to re-live their youth with a younger woman. It seems to make them feel more secure, though most younger women don't have the life experience to offer anything of substance to an "older" man.

Yes, there are good men out there. My wife abandoned our marriage, but I like to think I'm gonna be great for someone else.

Shaken

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by merm:
<strong> Hi,
Exh and I seperated in July 03. I had suspected an affair before but was denied by him. Found out that he and ow shacked up in Jan 04. It turned out that he and ow had had an affair for two years before we seperated.Yuck!!!! Now he is D the Disneyland Dad literally. He is taking our 9 year old daughter to Disneyland for spring break. Thank God it is just the two of them because she has repeatedly expressed that she does not want to meet the girlfriend. What is it with men and younger women? Are there any good men out there????

Me 37 and 9 year old Daughter.
Him 35 OW 23
Please respond. I need some encouragement and support </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

My xh is the disneyWORLD dad...He brought both OW along with my son to that place...and ironically that's where we went on our honeymoon. stone cold.

And my xh is 35 and the new OW/W is 25. His other OW is my age though.

Yea, there are other good men out there as I have recently found out. One extremely good one I found btw.

But, let us know what your sitch is...Separated? D'd? Love to be more help. It's hard. And I agree w/previous post @ how the younger OW doesn't have life experiences to offer them usually. I liken it to getting a really expensive fancy box wrapped in the nicest paper. Looks great on the outside. But when you unwrap it, there's nothing inside of it.

I worked on me, changed me a bit, updated look and took some time out to reflect on who am I NOW. That was all the change necessary. And no, the guys don't seem to be looking for twentysomethings if they go out w/a real woman of substance btw...even the cute ones it seems.

At least your stbxh is listening to the daughter as my xh didn't listen one bit and even lied to me saying that the first trip to Disney was a "boys' trip" and forgot to mention that OW was going along with them. Maybe she had a sex change op or something...lmaorotf.

Thanks for the support you guys. It is really good for me to know that there are other people out there going through the same #%$# as I am. Makes me feel like I am not alone. He sprung the trip to Disneyland on me out of the blue and needs me to give him a notorized letter stating that he can take our daughter out of the country. We live in Canada. When I told him I needed time to think about it he told our daughter that "Mommy might not let me take you to Disneyland". How nice of him to put me in that position. He always made me out to be the bad guy though. They fly out tomorrow and I am going to miss her like crazy. She and I have always been very close. While they are gone I am going to spend time on me. I'm getting my hair done, new makeup, coffee with friends etc. I haven't been on my own for 14 years. It is a little scary.
Keep posting please.


BS 37 married 12 years one 9 year old daughter
WH 35 shacked up with OW 23 after an affair of 2 years
seperated since July 29, 2003
upcoming divorce July 29,2004
apparently in Canada you have to be legally seperated for a year before you can get a divorce

You've got the right idea about girltime/downtime away from kids. I use the time to get stuff done and to work on me. That is absolutely the only good part about having visitation w/ith their other parent...I still wish my son were with me 100 percent of the time like before when I was a stay at home mom.

Thanks for talking to me peachy. My daughter is with me almost 100% of the time as the WH and the OW live far away from us. She hasn't seen her Dad for two months so the two of them should have a great time together in Disneyland. Apparently he keeps telling her that the OW just wants to be friends with her. Uor daughter still feels very betrayed by her Dad. She is starting a counseling program for kids at the seperation and Divorce counselling center at the end of March. I hope it helps her. I've got to run I'm meeting a man for coffee!

Me BS 37 and Daughter 9 married 12 years
Him WS 35 shacked up with OW Affair for two years prior to seperation
Legal seperation July 29,2003
Impending divorce July 29,2004

Well my daughter getes back from Disneyland tomorrow night although I won't see her until after dinner on Sunday. She has been calling me every night from Disneyland and is having so much fun with her Dad. The only thing is that when she is talking to me she sadly says " Daddy has been phoning Amy". I say that is okay honey Daddy loves Amy and wants to talk to her. Barf idon't want to even hear about it but I think she is waiting to see how I'll react. How do I explain to her without hurting her feelings that I really do not want to hear anything about her Dad and Amy?

Hey...I actually hurled about fifteen minutes ago after all the crud of this day and some doritos...lol...

My x made me hurl and your disneyland dad is very hurl-worthy as well.

Glad she's coming home. I just ignore the whole OW thing myself. She's not important to my son and practically a non issue when he's back home. I say to not even mention it and just say "oh" if she does. I still think it's best to quickly answers their questions about the A, but then change the subject as it's not good to dwell on it.

She'll know in the end who was there for her and why. You don't have to even utter one word about it ok? Just live by example.