My WH has moved out of our home. We have 2 children. WH is expecting a large sum of money coming to him (from his dad's estate) in the next couple of months. We were going to use this money to pay off our house and be debt free. Do I have any rights to this money? One attorney I talked to said not if he points it in his individual bank account and not our joint account and if the check is in his name only. Does anyone know? I am in Oklahoma.

check out freeadvice.com. They are more oriented to legal advice and are specific to state.

I don't think you have rights to an inheritance unless it's in both of your names. If he deposits it in your bank account though I think you can take half like the lawyer told you. Try the link that the other person gave. good luck

If the inheritance is specifically to him, then you really don't. But if the inheritance is placed in a joing account, then yes.

This is the hard part of a divorce. We the betrayed spouse is the one that really gets the hard deal.

Check the site above. THey can give you more information.

You may not have any rights to that money but your kids will. He will have to show that money tothe court for child support.

?MO?
In just about every state (if not in all of them) anything inherited (money, household goods, stock, etc.) belongs ONLY to that person specifically named in the will. This is regardless of what your marital status is at that time, and regardless of what type of account (single OR joint brokerage, checking, whatever) it is put into. This is why most lawyers suggest that assets not be given jointly, but to specific named individuals. Even if the money is in a joint account, if he can prove through paper trails that it came from an inheritance, it's HIS, not yours. This is something I'm involved in right now.

I wonder if it's possible if your WH would still want to pay off your house? Would that be of benefit to you even if separated? Or you could encourage him to set up trusts for your kids. I think in the future you would find that to be a big load off your mind if he were to do that and possibly name you both as trustees (so you could still exercise some control over it for their benefit). Or name someone impartial, like the bank or a lawyer as trustees. Anyway, just some thoughts.

It's his.
But you could get him to settle in a lump sum from the inheritence. And you could get him to set up college funds for the kids as part of the settlement.

In just about every state (if not in all of them) anything inherited (money, household goods, stock, etc.) belongs ONLY to that person specifically named in the will
This is true.

This is regardless of what your marital status is at that time, and regardless of what type of account (single OR joint brokerage, checking, whatever) it is put into.
As soon as you use that money for anything for the family (buy a house you all live in, joint account, take a vacation) it almost always becomes joint property.

Well, his father didn't have a will. The estate will be split 50/50 with his sister.
Thank you all for your help. It really helps clear things up and gives me some ideas to work on.
He HAS mentioned paying off our house and letting me live here with the kids until they finish school (17yrs!) That may have all been fog talk though.
I am still trying to get him to come home. He is willing to get MC. He's not in a relationship. He just thinks it is I that has caused his misery.

He is willing to get MC.
Good.

He's not in a relationship.
???
Your signature line says;
"2/14/04 WH doesn't know if he loves me
2/29/04 WH moves out
3/5/04 admits EA w/coworker 3/11/04 says he made-up EA"

Uh, you don't "make-up" stuff like this.
You don't move out (okay, almost never), especially with kids in the marriage unless their is someone else.
I'd bet large sums he is having (or did have) at least an EA and most likey a physical affair

He told me he was in love with OW. She is married with 2 kids of her own. I exposed A to her husband. After I talked to her and she denied everything - he says he "made-up" the A. I believe he is lying and was in fact in love with her. He is trying to protect her. He says they were never Physical. He says he told her he didn't want to do anything while he was still married. I take that as "so I will move out, seperate, then we can be together". OW says she never wants to speak to him again. They still work together.

I'd check with your attorney, but in Iowa, this is what happened to me:

My xh inherited $140,000 two years before we seperated. He paid off the house, bought vehicles, etc. When I went to get divorced I learned that not only was the inheritance all his, but so was EVERYTHING he could prove he bought with it. Appliances, cars, house, furniture...... I got nothing because he had sold everything we had and bought all new. He doesn't even pay child support.

I just checked another web site, and Oklahoma is an "equitable distribution" state, which means that if it comes to divorce, they do not have to divide the marital property equally.

In my state, which is also equitable distribution, this means you could benefit indirectly from his inheritance even if he doesn't mingle it with joint funds. A spouse's access to separate property can be a factor in the unequal division of property that is marital. It's fuzzy, and there are other factors. It doesn't necessarily mean you would the equivalent of half inheritance out of the marital property, even if there is that much extra available. But in my state, you would probably get something extra for this factor.

And what happened in Iowa, would not have happened in my state. Each state handles it differently. You have to check with an Oklahoma lawyer.

Good luck. You say you want him to come back, but that's not entirely in your control, so protect yourself in the meantime.

<small>[ March 16, 2004, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: tmmx ]</small>