Is it possible to love more than one person? I don't need a secular "anything goes" answer or an ultra-spiritual "this is my soulmate" answer. I think it's possible, but that I have to make the choice of which one I will choose to give my love to.<p>I look forward to your input.

That is what my spouse is telling me at this time. I am being told that she does not know which one to choose.<p>I never could love more than one at a time. The guilt and lies that are associated with it would be more that I could bear. The advice that I can give you is stay with one and let the other go. Stop re-hurting yourself and all that is involved.

My xMM says it's possible too and I think you can "love" two different people but I believe you can only be "in love" with one.

I think its perfectly human to love more than one person,,however....this does lead to moral issues. When you have made a commitment to one person (marriage vows),I would think that supersedes anything else. Its all a matter of right and wrong. You have to make life happy and and positive... Just my 2 cents [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

For sure it's possible. I love ALL my kids!:-)
In terms of men, yes, why not?
But I think we need to form a full male/female emotional attachment with only one guy. We don't want to switch.
Circumstances may make the choice very difficult or painful- e.g. you think B would make a better husband but A is the father of your kids and you don't want to hurt any of them.
Or A is better wageearner and responsible father material but B fulfils personal needs better. Or both.
I think that's different for guys, they can form attachments with more than one woman and genuinely care for each of them, and I don't think we should automatically condemn them for it.

To enlarge a bit- <p>If the cheating male spouse is behaving abusively to any woman he's in the wrong, obviously. Emotionally or psychologically or physically.
If he's not keeping his responsibilities to his kids, his boss, his clients, the needs of his spouse..
however.. monogamy is not easy for all men and I really don't think they mean to hurt their wives. They'll lie rather than hurt their wives but the deceit itself is not to be taken as abuse in itself, it's them covering up their indulgence and avoiding hurt and confrontation. Monogamy is a cultural norm not a law of the universe.
It is NO reflection on the worth of the betrayed wife either to him or in general.
A good quality red blooded male is naturally and historically polygamous. Check anthropology.
And there's a surfeit of women- six million in the US to date. Is it better for the woman never to have any emotional attachment or to share a great guy? Drop cultural expectations for a moment.

I do not think that it is possible to TRULY love more than one person. YOu may think that you love two people (in a male-female attractiveness way)but you may actually be experiencing lust and excitement for the one and true love for the other. Trust me...I have been in this situation and decided to remain with my true love (actually he decided to remain with me) which was the best choice. Lust rarely lasts and true love and companionship has a better chance of surviving.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Menekim:
<strong>Is it possible to love more than one person? I don't need a secular "anything goes" answer or an ultra-spiritual "this is my soulmate" answer. I think it's possible, but that I have to make the choice of which one I will choose to give my love to.<p>I look forward to your input.</strong><hr></blockquote>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Menekim:
<strong>Is it possible to love more than one person? I don't need a secular "anything goes" answer or an ultra-spiritual "this is my soulmate" answer. I think it's possible, but that I have to make the choice of which one I will choose to give my love to.<p>I look forward to your input.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>It is definately possible. I'm in love with my husband of 20 years, but also fell in love with a colleague of mine. I kept on telling myself that we were just friends; that we just liked each other a lot; but I finally admited that my feelings were romantic. But I wouldn't have a sexual affair unless I left my husband. And I realized that I really couldn't do that because I also loved my husband. It was and still is really hard. I miss seeing my friend terribly. I keep on wondering if we can be friends again someday...Refraining from seeing him and connecting with him has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The only way I can keep at it is the hope that we can see each other again and be friends, with out me falling in love all over again.

bird,<p>I, too, think it entirely possible to love more than one man...AND I think that even though we are taught that polygamy is immoral, it has its place. I think I could be perfectly happy if my h had some other place to go when he was a grouch. And I also think I could give two men my attention and heart---as was said before, I love all my kids equally. There are different qualities I like and admire in different people equally.<p>The problem with p is that if you have kids, who's the dad? But if all involved equally share responsibility for the kids, why would that matter? Of course, this would all have to be agreed upon in advance and the relationships would have to be sanctioned...not a's as we are talking about here.<p>[ February 24, 2002: Message edited by: diddallas ]</p>

It is impossible to love more than one person. You can only TRULY love one person. I think you should let the other person go and never talk to her again. So it doesn't ruin your marriage.

As usual, I only half answered the question.<p>Imo, it IS possible to love more than one person at a time.<p>But, you have made a commitment to love, honor and be faithful to your spouse--you should honor your word. And I would never advocate adultery or leaving your spouse for someone else.<p>I also believe that you can make up your mind to be happy with whomever you're with.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Menekim:
<strong>Is it possible to love more than one person? I don't need a secular "anything goes" answer or an ultra-spiritual "this is my soulmate" answer. I think it's possible, but that I have to make the choice of which one I will choose to give my love to.<p>I look forward to your input.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>My question is, can I be friends with a man that I've fallen in love with, but we are both in committed relationships. I want this person in my life, but I do have romantic feelings for him. I konw I don't want to "be with him", but I want to see him. Right now we're not seeing each other because we were playing with fire. But after a number of months of not seeing each other, will it be possible for us to be just friends? How can we get rid of our inappropriate feelings of love for another person, when we know we don't want to have an affair or break up our marriages?
I'm really struggling with this.