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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241 |
I just wanted to have a place that I can come to to record when my WH calls or visits the children. Is this a good idea? We are separated and I am not really pressing for DV but just hanging in there while he "decides" what he wants. I keep meaning to record this stuff somewhere but I never get around to doing it and I come to this site almost daily.
3/19/04 WH made no contact until 9:45pm phone call. Kids were asleep.
3/20/04 WH came over at 4:30am at my request and stayed until 11:00am. I called WH at 1:40pm to see if he would take DS to get haircut. WH return my phone call at 2:30pm. I called WH again at 4:15pm and he said he was too busy w/ laundry & cleaning and would take DS for haircut next weekend. No contact rest of day.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
A place to log visits and contacts is parenting journal. Either type it or put it in a book and just log all the contacts, or lack thereof.
Log doctors visits, school teacher conferences, major school events for kids, especially if you've let him know about them.
It may not help, but it was suggested to me.
MB isn't the place. Keep it to yourself.
Use MB for questions about how to deal with things.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 826
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 826 |
I agree with newly. You want to keep a journal of everything that you and your WH do in regards to your children. You may need it in the future should he decide to fight for custody. I know it is a pain to do, but once you get in the routine, it's not so bad.
I also agree with newly that this isn't the place to record these things.
Good luck!
Take care and God bless!
K
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 61
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 61 |
Keeping a journal will help you keep tabs on things and will provide a good place for you to unleash your emotional baggage ... however one of the dirty truths about divorce and its legal procedures is that it isn't a place where pointing fingers or keeping logs carries all that much importance (at least that has been what i've observed thru this all ).... assuming that there isn't a case of child abuse or drug/alcohol abuse that requires monitoring.
Just keep in mind that a journal is still a matter of My Word/Your Word, and one that your spouse will likely say is untrue if it is negative. Your journal will not serve as "proof".
However, it can be used as a tool to let your STBX that you are watching him/her.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241 |
Okay. Thanks for the input. I will not keep the journal / log here. Like Ms Mink said, it will probably not matter anyway because he is really a good daddy just a lousy husband that cheats and lies.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
Mink is right in that the courts don't give credence to such things.
However, MB is a great place for you emotionally now. If you haven't already, read through the concepts on the MB site. Just avoiding Lovebusters should help inyour interactions with X.
And also reading about the "fog" and reading other's stories will help you put your situation in context.
Good Luck.
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