I do not just laze around the house doing nothing and wasting my time as she suggests over and over. I am working on about a half dozen businesses right now that are not profiting yet, as no business profits from the get go. Some of my ideas have failed in the past six months, but that is once again how business works. I have minimized my expenses. I go out with friends maybe once or twice a month and usually it is to their house, as we all lack funds to go out on the town. I have sold or leased out most of the horses. I have given up my horse career, it is my passion, so that I can pursue the businesses 100%. I am sure my mother will retort that I still have three horses. Two of them are extremely old rescue cases that rightly deserve a peaceful retirement and one is a three year old that I bred and raised to sell hopefully this year as she is finally riding age. These horses are kept on my grandma’s farm and their total monthly expenses are less than $100. I rarely get anything for myself. I am wearing many of the same clothes I have worn since high school. There have been some additions along the way as the need arises, but very minimal compared to many women in their 20s. And when I do buy, it is on the clearance rack. Otherwise, I do not have any other expenses. I hardly drive, so gas is kept to a minimum.

Now on to this three week “vacation” I took. Of course, my mother fails to mention the pertinent details. The main reason I went to California, was to accompany my grandmother. She has not traveled in 30 years and was not going to go alone. She was going to visit her only sibling, her brother, who just had triple bypass surgery and whose wife just died. She was just going to go for a few days with some other family members for the memorial service. However, I saw that this might be the last time she sees him and convinced her to go for two weeks and spend some time with her brother. She only felt comfortable doing that since I would go. This trip was a great experience for me to get to know my grandmother even better, not to mention I got to meet a whole side of the family I didn’t know. From there I went to Colorado to visit more family and do some snowboarding.

Quoting Faith4me “My oldest daughter, just went for 3 weeks to California, Colorado. Broke her arm, has no insurance, bought snowboard stuff before she left, bought some clothes while she was gone, went out to dinner, and drank some. All this, and she doesn't have a job, but dad paid for everything.”

Once again, making me sound like a deadbeat and worthless. I guess all the time I work on my businesses, answering the phones for the business that supplies her alimony and child support means nothing and the money I do make doesn’t count. And no, dad did not pay for everything, I paid for a healthy chunk. The snowboard stuff that was bought was shared between my sister and I to minimize the amount of equipment bought, and it was seriously reduced. We didn’t go out and spend $500 on new equipment. We ate in most of the time. Heck I was eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in Colorado. When we did go out, the family I was visiting insisted on paying as we were their guests. All the snowboarding tickets were free as my uncle works on the mountain and gets free passes. Her remark “drank some” is obviously used to make me sound like a drunk. I had one or two glasses of white wine with dinner some of the nights, because the family I was visiting would relax with wine in the evening. And as for the insurance, I am uninsurable in my state. I have applied and was declined due to a TMJ problem I have. The rule in my state is insurance has to cover everything or nothing at all. The insurance companies are not allowed to exclude certain conditions. So, I am uninsured due to a stupid government law, not due to irresponsibility. To top it off, out of the few clothes I bought, one of the more expensive items was a designer sweater top that I bought for my mom. Yes, she fails to mention this as it will make me look good and she wants me to be the “bad daughter”. Now I am wishing I never bought it, seeing as how she doesn’t appreciate it.

And as for all of you yelling, kick your daughter out and tell her to get a job and get a life, she is old enough. Now that you do know the truth, step back and think about it. As for jillybean’s comment about me turning into my mother and depending on my dad, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I can easily be self-supporting, I have proved that already, but I sure won’t start any businesses spending all my time in a regular job. If I get a regular job, and slave away in a regular job like most of the working class does, how will I ever get the businesses off the ground. These businesses take more time than a full time job. So, in short all my chances will be shot. This is the time in my life to live meager, work hard on my businesses and be supported by my family so I can succeed. I am not talking about just financial support either; I am talking about emotional support. My mother should embrace this chance I have to make myself and thusly this family independently wealthy, instead of trashing it.

Now, let me ask you all this. Is it appropriate to trash the children’s father in front of them? Is it appropriate to cuss and swear at the father in front of the children? Is it appropriate to discuss the affair and what happened in the affair, using obscene vulgar language describing every vivid detail (I would imagine more than used in a porn film) to the children? Yes, I am not over exaggerating here…this was the whole thing that sparked this post. Over this past weekend, my mother wanted to clarify the deal about my father having to call before coming over and getting permission from her. I said fine, because I am sick and tired of being put in the middle of their arguments. I am forever answering and relaying their messages as they play their childish games on the phone. So, she had my agreement. Well, last night, she comes up to my room, on the third floor of the house. She starts repeating everything from the last conversation. I told her I already agreed and don’t want to hear it anymore. She told me later she wanted me to repeat word for word what she was saying. That is bull…I am not playing her games, I already agreed to do what she said. Anyways, she then got into how my dad was in Arizona seeing the other lady. I said so, he is divorced, he can do what he wants, he doesn’t need to tell you what he is doing. Just like my mom does what she wants to do. There are plenty of times, she leaves for hours without telling anyone what she is doing. That is fine, she doesn’t need to tell anyone. She needs to move on with her life. She is so concerned with knowing every detail about my dad’s life and trying to control it and say what she thinks is right and wrong. She doesn’t get the point that she has her own life and needs to start it. So, anyways, I think she was irritated by this and started into how the lady was a whore and my dad was seeing a whore. Then she jumped into all the vivid details using sexually explicit language about the affair. I told her I don’t want to hear this, it is highly inappropriate to tell her child this. She ignored me and kept on talking. I asked her to leave my room. She didn’t leave, she was sitting on my bed continuing the obscene language. I then told her to leave my room. Still nothing. Keep in mind, I am watching the business phones at this time, so I could not leave the house. So, I went downstairs. She followed me all the way downstairs continuing her vulgar language. At this point I was yelling at her to stop and leave me alone. I ran back up to my room. She followed continuing the language and I swear there was a smirk on her face as she could see I was hitting my boiling point. I couldn’t believe she would not stay out of my personal space and continued the vulgar language. There is no lock on my room and the door is just a cheap folding door. I grabbed the phone, ran back downstairs, she followed me down continuing even louder. I called my dad telling him I was going to explode. He said to go to my grandmas and watch the phones and relax there. Problem was my brother was borrowing my vehicle. All that was left was moms and I knew she would call the police on auto theft if I took that. So, he said just lock yourself in the bathroom with the phone and blast some music to drown her out until she quits. Luckily, the phone rang for her and she left me alone. It is sad though, the home is supposed to be a place of warmth and solace. A parent is supposed to be someone to trust not to hurt you. Your room is supposed to be your personal space and refuge. However, this is the reality my siblings and I live in. This is not the first time either that she has used vulgar language, I just decided to speak out about her telling her children vivid details of the affair as I am tired of hearing it. And, come to think of it, all of you who believe that my mom was abused and my dad tore her rotator cuff. Well, here you go, here is hard evidence of her hunting me down like a dog to harass me. She climbed up and down two full flights of stairs four times and invaded my private space to try to provoke me into doing something to her. The same thing she did to my dad at his place of dwelling.

Throughout our childhood, we listened to fights and trashing. In middle school and high school, I never wanted friends to come over, I went to their houses as often as possible. The reason being I was scared a fight would start in front of us. My mom had a bad habit of not keeping fights behind closed doors, she would just start them anywhere, anytime without taking notice as to whether or not the kids and/or the kids’ friends were present. Yes, I do blame my mom for this and I do blame her for the lack of emotional support a mother is supposed to give her child. Neither my sister or I had the “mother daughter” relationship growing up. We both stopped getting along with her sometime during our middle school years. I craved the emotional support that I saw my other friends getting from their mothers. After awhile I realized I would not get it. Now, I give credit where credit is due, my mom is great at helping with physical needs, such as doing grunt work, or when you are sick, etc… But, she has no capabilities to handle emotional needs and she takes out a lot of her anger on us kids through words.

And you all wonder why I as in my mom’s words “side” with my dad. One, he doesn’t put me through that mental torture and emotionally attack me. Two, he does not twist the truth. And three, he has finished every conversation we have about my mother since I was in middle school with “you know your mother loves you”, “we all want her to get better”, “try not to let what she says get to you and hurt you, she is just extremely angry inside”. This is all that “brainwashing” that my mother refers to on her posts. She does not have one nice thing to say about my father, yet he teaches us kids nothing but understanding. If it were not for my father, I would have told my mom many years ago to go to hell and I never want to see her again. Everything my mom says has to be taken with a grain of salt. I have literally heard her telling people numerous times something about me or something I said that was untrue. I have had her tell me things that dad told her. Some of these things are things that my dad and I had talked about and I know what he told me and it was completely opposite of what she said he said. I confront him and sure enough he didn’t say it and said why would he say that, it doesn’t make sense. She fabricates her own truth. The list goes on and on. All of us children take things she says with a grain of salt, we have talked about this before. We all know that she believes in what will make her look like a victim.

CONTINUED in next post………