(Hello to those of you who don't know me. As a divorced woman, I guess I should start making my posts over here rather than living in denail over on GQII, right?)

1) My divorce judgement was issued on March 19th, so I will officially be divorced in 31 days, or by April 19th. Things are finally at an end.

2) I have bought myself a nice townhouse to live in, and will no longer have to live in an apartment (while my H still lives in our huge dream home). I take posession of it about a week after the divorce is final, which is good, so then my H won't have any "dowry" rights to my property.

3) My H has finally figured out that we are indeed divorcing and that there's no point in trying to contact me all the time, trying to guilt me into going over to see him and have sex with him. I haven't heard a peep out of him in nearly a month now.

4) I get a week's vacation next week.

5) And thankfully I'm not as ashamed of my divorced status as I once was. I know that I fought hard for my marriage for 1 1/2 years before I made the choice to end the marriage. I know that I did all that I could. I am at peace with myself. So, I've also found the courage to start telling work colleagues and friends who didn't know.

So life is good! [Smile] I'm so much happier by myself right now than I was in the middle of my marital turmoil. I know it's odd to post a divorce success story on here, but I guess that's what I've become.

Sometimes it is better to get out of an unhealthy relationship that is going nowhere, than to continually try to marriage build by yourself.

Jen

Hi Jen,

I guess I will be hopping over here also, though I am in the divorcing category at this point.

Best wishes on your new life.

JE

Hi, I just wanted to say you ARE a success, because you have come out of a bad marriage with your self-esteem and self-respect intact. What does your new townhouse look like?

congratulations Jen. My D was awarded on 3/11. I too am happy but sometimes the future seems frightening so I guess just take it one day at a time and have faith that God is working in our lives.

JB:

Glad to hear that you have come out on top. And yes, you are a success. This is what Harley speaks about when you work on "it". And, even if the outcome is divorce,,,you feel good about yourself ...because you took the time to try to make it right.

My divorce was final 5 months ago. When i finally decided to file..I knew it was time...I had worked on trying to hang it all together for 14 months..but i finallly knew it was time after taking all the steps....I am in a much better position now..I have "my" life back...doing well professionally...have the kids..and loving it...frankly..I wish my ex and her BF the best...I am simply over all of the drama..and I have better interaction with the ex now too...all-in-all a struggle...but in the end it was worth it.

Would I have preferred to have the marriage to remain intact...definitely...but not with all of the BS and drama...and immaturity.

I can finally breathe.


Jen. Best Wishes to You !!!

I can relate to the phrase " I can finally breathe".

For newcomers, most of us came on MB to learn how to save our M's. Despite our efforts, sometimes things can't work out.
MB provided tools on how to deal with people, not just our spouses but all people, and in many cases gave us peace in our decisions.

And a support group too.

Thanks for the encouraging remarks from my fellow successes. Indeed, it is because I know I tried hard for a year and a half (applying MB concepts as best I could) that I can comfortably become a divorced person, and in fact feel a sense of relief and a new optimism for my future too.

My townhouse is a 2 storey with a developed basement and attached double garage under the main floor too. I bought a show home so it's beautifully painted and already has most of the window coverings too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen

Jen-

Congratulations on your success. I can really relate to what you say. One thing you gain from giving it your all to save your marriage is the peace of mind that you have done all you can and therefore have no regrets. So many of us here have had to learn first hand that we can control nobody but ourselves. Our marriages may have failed, but we have come out even better.

Good luck with the new townhouse. It sounds awesome!

Take care and God bless!
K

Jen,

Just browsing and saw your post. I don't know if anyone even remembers me, but I am a divorce success too. My Ex married his OW and we have been D a year on Ap 2. I am doing so well and so happy. Going to school, working hard and getting married to a wonderful man in July. I hardily agree that following MB principles and putting all into the "saving" makes it so much easier to move on when it is all over. Good luck to you and congratulations.

Sharon

All of you who want to, consider this an invitation to join my support / accountability group on this board -- just started the post.

I could use the help of those who've been weathering the storm.

Jen - I've happy for your success thus far.

High Flight

DEAR GOOD NEWS:

AFTER READING EVERYONE'S POSTS...I GUESS I'M THE SENIOR...BOTH IN AGE..I'M 51...AND IN YEARS DIVORCED.

I'VE BEEN DIVORCED FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS...AND IT'S DEFINETELY BEEN THE BEST THING 'WE' EVER DID.

I THINK ONCE A WOMAN FINALLY REALIZED THAT SHE HAS HER OWN PERSONALITY, FREEDOM AND SELF ESTEEM LEFT, LIFE REALLY ISN'T THAT BAD.

I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT IF YOU CAN SAVE IT ...DO IT...BUT BOTH HAVE TO CONTINUSOULY WORK AT IT...IF ONLY ONE WORKS AT IT, I FEEL IT DOESN'T WORK..BECAUSE YOU LOSE ALL THREE, YOUR PERSONALITY, YOUR FREEDOM AND YOUR SELF ESTEEM.

I CAN ONLY SPEAK FROM A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW...I THINK WOMAN TAKE A DIVORCE MUCH HARDER THAN A MAN. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I SEE.

MEN ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE WAITING IN THE WINGS, WHERE A WOMAN SEEMS TO JUST 'GIVE UP' AND WANT TO MOVE ON. MOVE ON IN HER LIFE, HER CAREER AND JUST 'MOVE ON'.

LIVE THESE PAST ALMOST FIVE YEARS IS A BLESSING IN DISQUISE FOR ME. I ACTUALLY THANKED MY EX FOR DIVORCING ME. WE ARE BOTH SO MUCH HAPPIER.

I HAVE GROWN AS A GRANDPARENT, LOVING THE 2 ADORABLE ONES FROM AFAR, ONE LIVES IN SC ONE LIVES IN FLA...BUT GRANDMOM STILL CALLS WEEKLY TO TALK TO THEM.

THANK GOD, SOMEONE PUT SOMETHING ON THIS BB THAT CAN SHOW EVERYONE THAT DIVORCE REALLY ISN'T AS BAD AS EVERYONE THINKS IT IS.

THANK YOU!!

A 'HEALED' BROKEN HEART