Why is it he always keeps doing this? Here's the latest.

Tomorrow begins spring break week and he's to be w/dad on odd years, me on even years. Problem is that Easter is this weekend and I am not sure who gets him this year. I will check the papers to see.

Anyhow, x is going out of town on wednesday thru sunday to new IL's house to show off new baby and pretend to be the loving h and dad again...Usually we don't do the visitation switchoff until wednesday and he's not leaving until wednesday. So I kindly suggested that we let things stay the same until either tues. night or just do the same drop off on wednesday morning and he gets son the same. He is "no. not at all". So I won't get to see my son for almost 10 days. He was a few weeks ago all about being flexible and said that if he'd go outta town he'd let son come over with me more. OW/W, FV, is immature and has fits where she obviously can't control herself and with the stress of a new baby and a H that's cheating (she doesn't know it but might have suspicions), she's unstable in my book. I hate the fact my son has to go over there.

Yesterday on the phone when we talked briefly about it, I mentioned to him that he owes me two extra days with our son when I was being "flexible" with him and how I was supposed to have him on my birthday last week. He pretended not to know about the birthday clause in papers and said "well I don't EVEN KNOW WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY IS anymore"...went on to say in same breath "THAT DAY HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SIGNIFICANCE TO ME AT ALL..THE PAST IS THE PAST". It is literally like he's re-written his life and that I am a formality and a problem to deal with and that he deserves my son 100 percent and that if he pushes and pushes me out, that maybe I'd give in. It's like he hates the fact I am the one who our son wants to be with. He wants to forget all he has done and still doing and just pretend to be the good person he THINKS he is.

It's just like my hypothesis...they WANT US TO PRETEND TO FORGET...they can't handle all the crud they have done and we are reminders of their sin to them. When he sees me or hears me, he is reminded of what he's done.

When I deal with him, I want only facts. Nothing more. No cruel comments about how my birthday isn't anything to him (like I really care but the words were hurting anyway) or any personal asides. Just facts. And he had this horribly sarcastic and disrespectful tone when I spoke with him. I ended up hanging up on him.

So I will be without son for the longest since he's been born. I really need prayers to deal with this. I think what's most hurtful is the disrespect and dishonor I am given as simply a mother and a good mother to boot. Also the fact he's packing up his new family and bringing them to her parents house to further propegate the lie of his life. And I will be here alone without my boy for the longest time ever.

Now here's the other kicker. My x is claiming he will not pay my attorney fees to them. He is due to pay me a lump sum of money I was awarded in settlement (for monies he squandered with OW and how he left me with huge burden of debt on my back). He asked me to JOIN him in a lawsuit against my attorneys. Said that my attorneys didn't work in MY BEST INTEREST and that I got a bad deal and more crud.

Has anybody ever heard more lies than that? Here's the man who ripped my life apart, the life of his only son apart, and then has enough nerve after not paying us for almost 6 months to say this crap to me. He also threatened in same breath that "if things didn't start getting amicable from my end that he'd seek some MODIFICATIONS in the settlement and re=enter into arbitration or something".

So basically he's blackmailing me that if I don't go along with his little lawsuit that he's going to attempt to take me back to court to modify the monies he's paying us (already too little and not what it should be) or the visitation. And I don't have the money to fight him at this time and he knows it.

So I had the biggest cry of my life last night. I feel pretty much alone here and am happies when it's just me and my son. I can go w/o dealing or seeing or speaking to x for weeks on end and actually prefer it this way.

I am not sure how to handle this sitch or what to do. I am going to I guess have to resort to taping even a cell call and will go to radio shack tomorrow after work to find out how to do it. Will need to be able to tape calls from a cell to another cell I guess.

When will this crap ends? It's like he wants me dead or something. Like if I were only out of the way things in his life would be great. It may be ironic, but that's actually how I see it myself.

He's got money and is enabled further into thinking he's the king of the world by his parents and the new wifeypoo and offspring are reveling I guess in their newfound riches. But I know the dark secret in their life and either she knows, is ignoring it, or would rather live a lie in riches than be honest and have less...in the end it will rob her of her sanity and self respect. I know it first hand. That's why I first filed.

He keeps on getting worse it seems. He thinks he's really a good person and that I am the bad one b/c I am the one who has a memory. The man even said on the call that "our son is going with his SISTER AND BROTHER" to his GRANDPARENTS house. It made me shudder. They aren't his grandparents. They don't even know my son. He has a stepbrother. And a half sister. He has re-written his whole life and is going to try to con his way outta the legal obligations to me as well.

I swear you'd think it was ME who had the illegitimate child(ren) like FV with the way he treats me with such disrespect...My sister said last night during my cry=fest that 1)he is ANGRY with himself b/c of what he's done and that he can't undo what he has done now and he hates that..2)that I am doing good at work (I GOT A SMALL PROMOTION THIS WEEK BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT) and 3)that I am dating and living decently and getting on with my life and not crying or pining or saying I'd take him back on his terms..which my sis believes he wants.

So I have to deal with periodically a tyrant/egomaniac who is intent on destroying any stability in my life if he is allowed to work his poo. I have to go 10 days without a hug or smile from the little one who lights up my life and who is the one who keeps me going every day. I have cried and cried over this part.

I need strength right now. To deal with my son's absence and also for in dealing with my x who is wanting to screw me over further. And either I join him, or he tries to take more from me. It's like when Darth Vader is fighting Luke with the lightswords and he says "Join me Luke"...When your enemy in one breath seeks to rob you of the precious things in your life but then says that if you just join forces with him that he can make it all go away and you'll have happiness. I swear this is enough to make a totally sane person go bonkers.

Basically I am dealing with being blackmailed yet once again.

Oh here's also something important. I guess I am scared one day my son will want to live with his dad and it's for these reasons:
1)money. dad can buy the world. takes him on disney trip every year and buys expensive toys.2)he tries to pretend that he's got more family than I do...he is always throwing up fact his parents help him out (the outlaw enablers) and how FV's parents are the "second set of grandparents for our son" and I feel like it's just me here. My closest relatives live about four and a half hours away and love my son too.


These are the little stupid things that keep me up at night and make me think that one day all my efforts will be fruitless. I just don't want my son to turn out like his dad. I don't have that kind of money but we have fun and are really happy together. I don't have any relatives here in AtL, but I believe family is all about quality and not quantity.

I am just scared I guess. Confused and scared about dealing with this psycho.

Just spoke to sister and she said to find out what's going on and to do the only thing we can do to buy time...write a letter and AFFIRM some of the same things he's said about himself...

So I wrote him an email saying how I'd like to "be on same page with him" (his very words) and how I want only respect and to be left alone but have positive dealings with him and that I'd be open to hearing what he had to say and made him think I'd listen to his garbage about the lawsuit. But I also speak of how I will no longer tolerate any rudeness, cruelty, and how I wish "I COULD BE LIKE HIM AND COMPLETELY FORGET ALL THAT HE HAS DONE BECAUSE I HATE REMEMBERING WHAT HE DID BECAUSE IT STINKS TO HIGH HECK". Yea, in older days we'd call that a love bust. But these days I call it a vent. So inbetween being somewhat agreeable without agreeing (foggy talk I am also master of now), I demand respect and honor.

Once again, the POD (prince of darkness) does the 180. This is the kind of manipulation he's king of.

I get an almost immediate response from him of my email. I am baffled. But then again, the other theory I have of "IF YOU AGREE WITH THEM THEN THEY WILL ACT DIFFERENTLY". If you want to make a WS hear you, then you have to "speak their language". Learn how to agree somewhat with them without really agreeing to anything. Utter selfishness will make them "see your point".

Ugggggh. Arrrrrghh.

Here's the poo I just got emailed back to me. I am sick of his change of emotions. I am so glad to be off of his rollercoaster. I am sorry for FV as she'd best strap in for the most bumpy ride of her sleazy little life. MOnkeyho best keep that seatbelt on too if she knows what's good for her. I know without a doubt he will crash and burn very soon most likely. If this continued A gets to light of day, heck will break loose. It's a matter of time basically. I am worried for when that day comes.

Email:
Peachy,
This letter is what I have been trying to get from you for the last two years. If your sincere in and make the adjustments on your attitude than you'd have everything your asking for and so much more. I'll try to look through your eyes if you do the same with me. I have not tried to do anything purposefully to hurt you and I would never wish for you to be out of the picture. Only to be less reactive and more open minded. You are his mother and nothing will change that. I only instill encouragement and honesty with our son and I promote nothing but positive things to him about his mother.
Darth Vader aka Jethro

PS: Your words have only been that! I hope this time it's different?

Jethro aka Darth Vader
_________________________
Me: My attitude that needs adjusting? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> HE instills HONESTY? Purposefully hurt me? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

This is the crud I get back. HE BELIEVES THE LIES HE SAYS. HE BELIEVES 100 PERCENT OF IT.

Can you possibly imagine how frustrating it is to deal with a man who is an insane egomaniac like this one? Who only hears words that are pleasing to his ears? A man who if you assert yourself or present an idea or theory they just shoot it down in flames because of the mere fact you thought it first and they didn't? That's what I felt for 8 years.

I am going to have to deal with this. How long can I go speaking "fogese" to get things done? When does the pandering stop? I don't give in to him, but have to make him perceive he is getting his way to just have a month or so of peace so that he doesn't launch an attack from the Death Star. I swear...the whole thing he wants is for me to do the following and his life would be complete...
1)join him in the lawsuit. It would make him feel like he's doing something "for me" and really be "for him" as he'd get out of paying bills. Plus it would secure the fact that he was right all along.
2)Me to have my memory erased. I'd come over and either give decorating tips or make them the best cappucino ever. I'd even ask to babysit the OW's kids for her. Let them go out for a night on the town. And if he felt like it, see me on the side too. Tell him I think it's great that he has the much younger wifey now and monkey on the side as she's his soulmate, and that we would be on the side again as I was the one who kept him "on top of the world" when it came to his business. Plus the fact I look a little different now is good too.
3)Announce my resignation from my company and work with Darth once again. Help his sales skyrocket and introduce him to the medical big-wigs here in ATL...(his business has indirect dealings with medical professionals and in developing relationships with them so they can get clients). We'd be the incredible sales team we once were. Except that I'd give all my top commissions over to him most likely.
4)Announce to the guys I date that "I might like you and we might date...but YOU'LL NEVER BE AS SMART AS MY XH AND HE MAKES ALL MY DECISIONS REGARDING MY CAREER, FINANCES, AND PARENTING". He is soooo much of a man I cannot deny him that.

I swear. If only I did that. Peace would reign in GA. He'd sit on his throne and his 3 women would be sitting below him (of course) at his feet. One barefoot sleazy and pregnant, the other one tall, overbleached and counting the viagra pills she gets from her other pharmaceutical sales friend in her district, and me...

I swear the man thinks he's Donald Trump.

I don't know who he is. He really is like the ego of Donald Trump and the flash and brash of him meets the heavy breathing and cold hearted Darth Vader, ruler of the universe meets the idocacy and sixth grade education and ciphering (remember that one?) of our good buddy Jethro Bodine.

He sounds like such a creep. Why did you ever marry the guy in the first place? Sounds like he has always been a creep.

WOW....I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry you have to deal with a man like this, but hang on -- for he will ALWAYS be there. You had a child with this man, and he will NEVER go away.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
I guess I am scared one day my son will want to live with his dad and it's for these reasons:
1)money. dad can buy the world. takes him on disney trip every year and buys expensive toys.2)he tries to pretend that he's got more family than I do...he is always throwing up fact his parents help him out (the outlaw enablers) and how FV's parents are the "second set of grandparents for our son" and I feel like it's just me here. My closest relatives live about four and a half hours away and love my son too.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I too had that fear. Two of the kids went to live with him because of the Disney Dad stuff -- and two of them were VERY screwed up, but of the age where they COULD go. They were hurt, angry and most of all wanted it "all" - the trips, the cash, the cars, the you name it. Now flash forward 5 years. He has only ONE left and has estranged two of the kids totally from him -- all by himself. The girlfriends/wives change, but nonetheless, it's all about "HIM" and nothing about the kids. Maybe your son will want to go and live with him. One sure guarantee that he WILL want to live with him will be the total tug of war that I read in your posts with your child.

Your son WILL choose to go with his dad to end the struggle and the constant fighting (it's what my son did and admitted to). Your son knows that you love him unconditionally and may choose to go and live with him to end the battles, the emails, the frantic calls in the night. Do you honestly think that you are a calm mother with all this chaos in your life? (Your posts are so full of vehemence and hurt, I really wonder how you can be *calm* around your child).

Peachy, I don't know you, but I have read your posts since the day you got here. I see in your posts how tied up you are with Jethro and his wife and the concerns you have about morals and values. Morals and values CAN'T be changed in a person that have NONE.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FV, is immature and has fits where she obviously can't control herself and with the stress of a new baby and a H that's cheating </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you have proof of this? Do you have an independent witness that can testify on your behalf in court so that you can have it ordered that your child is in danger when he is over there without his dad? If not -- you have no hope in hell of changing that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is literally like he's re-written his life and that I am a formality and a problem to deal with and that he deserves my son 100 percent and that if he pushes and pushes me out, that maybe I'd give in </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">-- of course he feels that he deserves his son 100 percent. Is it the fact that he wants his son more that bothers you, or is it the fact that he is getting on with his life and is choosing not to remember the life he had with you? What is the good that all this anger and vehemence does in your life? Does it propel you to be a better person? Does it encourage you to show your son how to be a better person? If so, then that's great! There comes a time Peachy where all this hurt and anger though become acidic and keep you up at night with worry. There comes a time where you can't smile anymore and brush off the words of your ex and that you take everything that he says to heart and have to analyze and examine it over and over again trying to find out what he really "meant" about this or that. -- again, you have to let it go.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Here's the man who ripped my life apart, the life of his only son apart, and then has enough nerve after not paying us for almost 6 months to say this crap to me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes he did rip your life apart. Yes he did rip his son's life apart. He may not have been paying you for 6 months -- but you have a job don't you? You are not out on the street, you are not on welfare, you don't have a child who is sickly and handicapped. Yes he is an A-hole and Sh*t and whatever you want to call him, but be THANKFUL he's out of your life. He could be STILL with you (as the "happy little family") screwing anything that comes his way and them coming home to sleep with you! BE THANKFUL he's not.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think what's most hurtful is the disrespect and dishonor I am given as simply a mother and a good mother to boot. Also the fact he's packing up his new family and bringing them to her parents house to further propegate the lie of his life. And I will be here alone without my boy for the longest time ever.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What you should be doing is planning an Easter celebration for that boy of yours BEFORE he leaves to go to his dad's. Hide the eggs the night before he goes. Get the Easter Basket and the like (hee hee...load him up on chocolate and sugar for his trip with Dad! <--- kidding...but it sure would be fun). Yes Peachy, you WILL be alone without your boy. But Easter is just another holiday. It doesn't mean you HAVE to celebrate it during that time. You CAN make a holiday *special* without having him there. Find a bunny/bear -- something he can hold onto when he is gone, something that you can hug in front of him and kiss...and tell him that when he's missing you, all he has to do is give bunny a kiss or a hug and you'll feel it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He's got money and is enabled further into thinking he's the king of the world by his parents and the new wifeypoo and offspring are reveling I guess in their newfound riches. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I felt the same way. My ex had the big house, the cars, the trips -- while I had to struggle with a second-rate job, subsidized housing and even had to dip into the Food Bank. It was devastating when they were doing the parks and eating out at all the great restaurants with the kids when I couldn't even afford MacDonalds. At the end of the day -- (my oldest is 20) -- the ones that will come to you is those same kids. They are the ones that will hold you dear to their hearts because they know you love them unconditionally. Exactly when do you think that Jethro will be there for your son? Jethro hasn't even seen what having a teenager is like! HAH! My heavens Peachy, he'll be driving that kid home faster than all get out once he reaches that stage. On top of that, he'll have a hag for a wife that he has to deal with and perhaps another kid or two because he can't keep his pecker in his pants. Exactly WHY are you feeling so sad? Listen to your sister -- she's absolutely right. While Jethro's life is falling apart, your's is coming together. Do you honestly think your son is a joy with him? Believe it or not, a new baby on the scene causes great grief to the older child and they will do anything for attention! Who knows WHAT he does when he's there.

I know that it's hard to let your son go, but believe me, when it's your idea to encourage it, the ex will go "Wait a minute! Why is Peachy so anxious for me to have son?" These men are controlling creatures. Let Jethro KNOW that although you will miss your son horribly, you do have plans for the time that he's gone. Wish the family well wishes for the holiday season.

The lawsuit business -- let JETHRO pay the bills for his own lawsuit. Believe me, the lawyers will be quick to put together a demand for settlement and bring about Breach of Order suits against Jethro. You staying out of it is the quickest way for Jethro to land himself in some hot water -- all by his own making. Stay out of his schemes and plans. The wheels of justice do turn, but slowly. Let him lay under the tires while you watch. Let HIM take you to court. If you can't represent yourself, the wind will blow right out of his sails. Tell him, "See you in court darling!"

You are your own worst enemy. STOP the emails. STOP the trying to make him see your way. He NEVER will see your way. Don't talk to him, don't give him the time of day. Visitation is clear cut. Follow it to a T. If he is wanting to modify it, copy the Order and send him a copy with the words highlighted. END IT now. You walk right into his plan of pushing your buttons. He's successful in making you doubt your words, doubt your motives, doubt your mothering abilities. He's an *******, always will be an ******* and will never change. Get on with your life! Let him live the hell he's created for himself -- including fathering another child. Be the BEST parent you can be for that boy, even if it means having to celebrate Easter early and letting him go for 10 days. When you pack his clothes, do little things like kissing his t-shirt (when he can see you). It's an invisible thing, but lets him know that he will be missed. Gives him a little comfort too while he's away.

Most of all....be good to yourself. Get yourself some counselling to deal with this anger you have towards this man before it eats you from the inside out.

Hon, you know me, and the first thing is I would not e-mail your X. Stop the contact, just like all of you told me to do. I have stopped the contact and it has been more peaceful here. There is rest when the meanness & criticizm of your x spouse is out of your life. If your X is going to play fraud on his agreement with child time, then mark on a calendar the days you have your son, and he has your son. Remember when you go to court, it costs money, and have your X pay the lawyer fees, and court costs.

All he is doing Peachy, is pushing your buttons and he is doing very well. Yes, he has more money, just like my X. I can't take my kids to dinner and the movies. Yeah, I could if I wanted to deduct from food or bills. But, I am leaving this up to the Lord. I am providing my kids with a roof, heat, water, washer/dryer, a place to come home to, a bed, and TV and refrigerator, and more. That is all I can do right now, and that will have to suffice. If they are not happy with this, then the door is always open for them to leave. Yes, I would love to send them like X did out of town to different states for a vacation. But no, I cannot afford it. And then the X states here and to others that he doesn't have the money. I know how much he makes and the lies hurt God worse than me. I did the books of self-employment full time since 1990. I am not STUPID!

Peachy, you are letting him get you down. I would have an early Easter Celebration as stated above, or even when he comes back. Yes, the real truth of Easter is to praise Jesus for what he did for our Sins. But you can have a spiritual time after he returns. With him getting all ready for a trip, there might be too much commotion right now. Plan a good nights rest for when he gets back, and then paint some beautiful eggs for yourself and him and hide them, and then get him a nice easter basket with educational things and a few treats. Just to have time with him, maybe singing christian songs on the way to church, or talking to him about the significance of Easter may be worth more to him than the candy and hoopala.

The wayward spouse knows where it hurts Peachy, and they will use it over and over. Cause yes, one they do not care. And what he said about your birthday was meant for one reason only, TO HURT YOU!!!! It did, didn't it! So you played into his meanness and unthoughtfulness. I don't care if my X doesn't remember my birthday, or christmas. I know that God loves me for me. God knows it is my birthday, and I have friends who remember it is my birthday, and well as my family. But what is most important, is that God knows when I was born, and I celebrate this day with him, without him, I would of committed suicide. For I was very distraught when my husband had his sexual affair, and now he is back with the other woman again. It bothered me, but not now. For I wouldn't want a mate as she is. I want a christian man if God chooses for me to have a mate, that believes in GOD, believes in committment, believes in remorse, believes in guilt, and believes in thoughtfulness.

Peachy, you got a promotion. GOOD for you. Look at what you have done in your life. You moved to a nice neighborhood. A beautiful smaller home, a great amount of friends, a family who cares for you deeply, you know you were committed to your xhusband, and don't have to deal with the adulterous life he has and still has (?). You gave your best to repair the marriage, and your wayward spouse choose to lead the path of unfaithfulness. You are dating, and you are searching for yourself. You are a good person, and God does love you. You are a smart woman, and God knows you are. You are a wonderful mother, and God knows you are. You are doing it Peachy, you are moving forward and keep moving forward. There are going to be the roller coaster rides. I know, and it is rough. I feel like vomiting sometimes, but I now know it will get better.

A suggestion, join a prayer group, or bible study. I have, and that has really helped. I have people who are calling me to see if I have read passages. And my pastor calls me weekly to see how I have been. We talk and pray on the phone, for I really enjoy my church, and the family at church. Get involved more in church.

Also, you have lost your weight and look really nice. Stay in an exercise program, and join a running team, or walking team. I am thinking of joining a biking group close to my home. I have to get a bike first. And of course, some other things to go with the bike. For I do want to go on weekend rides with the group. I have a little pup tent that will be my tent to sleep in. And I feel this would be a great opportunity to find people who enjoy the outdoors, and enjoy being active, and doing things out of doors. I have always been a tom boy, and that is one of the things that my X liked about me. I will not dress up and be prissy just for looks. I will dress up for the occassion, like a wedding I have in September. But I want to be myself, and show that I am an outdoors woman who loves what God gave to us, our outdoors and God created the earth.

Peachy, you are letting this guy get to you, don't, it is not worth it. It causes you heartache, pain, stress and anger. Let it go, and if you need to get the lawyers, do it. Cause some of the wayward spouses, will be unthoughtful in this way, and the only way you can get them to obey the law is to get a lawyer. It is a shame this has to be done, but they will NEVER change Peachy. They will stay on this track until the day they die. SAD for them. God does see what they are doing. And Peachy, they will have to face the outcome of eternity at the Gates of Truth.

Hold on Hon, this is a rough ride right now, but soon the path will be level and the riding will be smooth, and then you can sit back and take a deep breath, and enjoy your life. You are strong and have immense strength in your arms. Take hold of the reins and take control. Bye for now.

And Peachy, someday, when you are over him, and all the bitterness is gone, and you are starting to date again, if you ever do, please, please, please JUDGE the character of the men you date.

Pick only men of good character to become close to! If you have trouble judging and picking good men, go to counseling to help you do this.

Often, we blame men for being (---holes) when "WE" WERE THE ONES THAT PICKED THEM AND CHOSE THEM TO BE MARRIED TO US AND FATHER CHILDREN!

If you find that your judgement is permanently bad toward picking men, improve it!

YOU CAN DO IT, YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH, GIRL!

You and your son need a Good man the next time!

And when you meet one of US (yes I mean me) men who is of good character, don't stomp on our hearts or sit there and moan about the bad men when a good one is sitting right there in front of you.

None of us will be perfect, so if you expect perfection, expect disappointment.

Tony

Peachy,
I would call your law firm and tell them he is blackmailing you about filing suit against them. They might not take to kindly to it.

Don't give in to him!!

Jill

Why do you play his game?

Use the judgement God gave you and meet a better man next time! We do not have to marry bad men. It is up to us to judge for ourselves a man's true character.

When we find out how "bad" a man he is, we then should NOT marry him nor HAVE his children.

Why do we bring on a life of pain for us and the kids just because our judgement of the man was originally skewed.

It is up to us women to judge our men and stay away from bad cheater men. That way, none of these problems happen.

Thanks guys...

Little FYI...
1)things ARE VERY calm and solid when son is with me. We have fun together and he's my top priority. I rarely have any contact w/x anymore unless it is about those 2 topics...we don't "casually" talk or talk frequently anymore and haven't for some time.
2)HE IS A CHAMELEON. Alot of you are wondering how could I have ended up w/my xh? Well here goes...He is very attractive. Very well-spoken..Could sell sand to Saddham Hussein. He can become anything to anybody in any given situation. Had ended long term relationship w/college bf a few months before and was vulernable basically. He's slick, smooth, and can say the right words at the right time to get his way. I really believed he was the smart, handsome, and caring man that I was looking for...but he can only carry tht persona for so long until the cracks start showing...also, he was from out of town and i was unable to find out alot about him..about 10 years ago and google and stuff like that not really big to do research.
3)I don't play his games. Nope Cindy I don't. I deal with the results of his actions usually. Clean up the crud when it happens. And trust me..."IT" happens when dealing with him. Unless there is a parenting issue or this crud involving remaining finances, I leave the man alone.

I sometimes have to vent as he's enough to drive a nun to drink...or something else...Whatever..

Am at work and just been angry at his idocacy. Dropped off son w/him today and actually caught him checking me out as I put son in carseat. I hate having to deal with him and he makes it where you have to deal w/ith him on some level. Yes, it's few and far between now, but there will have to be a few dealings now and then and I am not made of money so that I can engage a gaggle of attorneys to do that dirty work for me anymore.

The vent was about the man having my son for a little over a week and my missing my son and also basically is refusal to ever follow through according to the rules and just do the right thing...in this case it was paying the attorneys the fees they were awarded from him. All that and hearing his sarcasm over the phone.

And it's strange today. He sent late last night a sarcastic email to me about when and where the drop off this morning for our son was to be..and after he sees me, checks me out and tries to talk to me and even asked me to sit in the new navigator with him (yea he did that and I declined respectfully),he sends me an email saying he was "sorry and didn't mean to sound mad or angry" in the email...if he sees something for him in anything, he suddenly becomes compliant and nice. Guess seeing his xw for the first time in a good while all dressed up made him rethink the "stupid ugly fat" thing he used to say about me and probably sees this as something for him now. Ewwww.

Works' going well. And thank you guys for praying for me. I miss my little guy and he's so special to me as he's my best buddy.

Doing great today! Thanks for prayers and stuff.

Miss son but doing good @ staying busy. Just got in from a very short day of work!

Going to greenbelt to jog and then to tanning salon...

Seems da peach has plans this evening...Asked out by the cute exec...no, not HN, but this guy who went to same college as my sis and BIL and he is originally from close to my hometown but lives here now. Maybe briefly mentioned him before though...He's so cute the ATL police should write him a ticket for cruising in the hot lane! lol!

Said he wanted to "make up for the horrible events on my bday"...so I take him up on it! He's going to come over later, take me to dinner, go do "whatever I feel like doing" and mentioned fact he got me a small present. Nice touch.

Geez. It's days like this I really wonder what in the heck I ever saw in my xh anyway? I am ONE MILLION times happier now and really the only remaining troubles are how he financially wrecked me and having from time to time squelch his little "flare ups" and temper tantrums.

I gotta figure out what I will wear...I am probably leaning towards wearing my low rider jeans...Yea. I got some after my aunt in CA urged me to do it while "the caboose was still working good".

And it's kinda shocking to me...I am one to usually run from dates and the really cute guys...but today I don't feel like running suddenly. Am excited a bit and looking forward to it somewhat for a change. Character? This guy is a 180 from my xh. But still some similar qualities in that he's a good businessman, attractive although differently, and witty. He dresses much better than Jethro did and THIS MAN HAS BEEN KNOWN TO READ BOOKS! Can you believe it? Is graduating in May w/MBA from GA and is a VP of communications w/his company. Two years older..no kids..no luggage really to speak of except long term manipulative xgf.

Gotta go.

Have fun tonight Peachy!

K