My wife is and has been always be a great procrastinator. She is a very intelligent person with Graduate degree. Write beautifully, but never finish any thing. Organizes and reorganizes but her goal are so high that are never reach. Then on top of that she wants to keep every single piece of paper, magazine, catalog or bills " because she wants to read it eventually, that reading never comes. They she mixes important documents, like letter from the IRS, bills between her catalog, many of them unopened.
There are boxes full of her staff, which she does not allow any body to touch, so there are thousands of catalog etc, with mail in between unopened.
Then of course I have to take over on the finances and look for the papers and pay the bill, and she feels rejected hurts and angry with me because she is not allowed doing the finances of the family. All my children agree that she can do it, but she wont do it on time and regularly.
On top of that she thinks that she can do a better job that any body else, and she will do it two or three times in her life time but at a tremendous cost on herself and the people around, and then the job is so complicated that no body can follow: it is brilliant but practical.
So, here is my current problem. We are remodeling an apartment in which we plan to move after we sell the house. We want to change some doors, the contractor wants 380 dollar for removing the old doors and hang the new door, we will provide the doors. I thing it too high, she think is OK, because the prices have increased. I Suggested that I will talk to the contractor to reduce the price, but she tell me that I will not know how to do it, that she wants to do the negotiations etc. What I see is that the remodeling will never be finish, and then she has insulted my intelligence and my experience, thus removing a good chunk of love bank assets.
I’m writing this because I do not know how to handle her, is getting to a point that I want out. But I love her. What can I do?

Hi Jimmie,
Sounds like your wife might be needing to control one area of her life, and the household things is it. Any attempt for that power to be taken away (like you wanting to handle the negotiations with the contractor) might be seen as a threat to her, and thus she may say things that she may not mean, like that you won't do it right. It would be nice if you could both formulate a plan together ahead of time (like that you both don't want to spend more than $275 on the door project) then attack it together. Negotiate with the contractor as a team. I tried this with my husband when we were buying a car, and it really works to have two people working together to reach a goal. Are there reasons that she can't get things done on time, like is she stressed in other areas that cause her to forget about bills and such? I had the same problem, and the only solutions was that I got a HUGE wall calendar, one of the big office ones from Staples, and I write all my tasks on it (when bills are due, assignments, appointments, birthdays, tax preparation, due dates for forms, etc) at the beginning of the month. Without that and my filing cabinet I would be lost.
In short, if this is the only problem you have with your wife, it sounds like its an "easy fix", and not worth divorcing over. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, she does need help, but it might need to be in the indirect way - like getting her new organization supplies (a filing box or cabinet, a calendar, etc...) after talking about it. I say after talking about it because I just know if my husband bought me supplies to get organized without telling me, I might be offended.
Good luck, and keep posting.

Thank you for the reply. But on top of the procrastination she has paranoia and a bipolar disease. I can not do anything about it. So I'm living with an incurable person.
The only way she will be a little better is I gave all the support I can as well as all the love I can.
She will never do the right thing.
Today she is all depressed, with headache, does no want to write the e-mail for the contractor with her questions. Does not want to do any thing. So I here, waiting and writing to you good people, and getting my problems out of my chest.