I haven't posted here in at least a month or two. All of my previous posts have been in the "IN RECOVERY" forum. My STBX 'sweet1213' used to post quite frequently, too. She filed for D at the end of February, but kept telling me we could work it out. On March 21st, I was in a car (not mine) with a friend of mine and her son (20 months), and my daughter (22 months). I was supposed to drop my daughter off at STBX's house at 4pm. She was waiting at my apartment at 2pm. When we pulled in, she walked toward the car pointing her finger and yelling. I was driving so I pulled in a parking space, turned around, and started driving off. Trust me, you WANT to avoid confrontation with her. She ran over to my car in the parking lot and tried ripping the windshield wiper off. The last time she did that she used it to shatter my rear window. She then ran to her car and followed us out onto the main street of the apartment complex. She passed cars just to get in front of us and then turned sideways in the middle of the road to block traffic in both directions. She got out and ran to the car, banging on the windows and screaming to give back her baby. She then looked at us and said "You're f--king dead! You're gonna die!" I eventually backed around the car behind me and she followed us back to my apartment. By this time we were on the phone with 911. I drove past my apartment and she pulled along side the car and tried running us into parked cars. People were yelling at her to slow down, etc. She then pulled ahead of us and slammed on the brakes. I came close to rearending her but didn't. I backed up and so did she. She backed into a parking space and I pulled forward to drive past her. She squealed the tires and slammed into the back of the car I was driving. Witnesses then called 911. She followed us around and then ended up waiting in front of my apartment for police to arrive. She was arrested for domestic violence - simple battery. As of now, the state attorney's office has the file in the felony division. She knew the kids were in the back seat, but wanted to get at me at all costs apparently. I went to the courthouse the next day and got an injuction against her. I asked for my wife to have limited visitation, but the judge awarded me full custody and she was not to have contact with me or the baby. Since then, she has called the Department of Chidren and Families on me, had my guns taken away for fear that I would come after her, and stated that my daughter was 'critically ill' and I was not able to take care of her.
Yesterday, we were in court for a hearing and I was absolutely shock with what she said. I have pics where she came after me on Valentine's Day and she flat out denied it under oath! Here's the original post. Notice that sweet1213 has edited her posts on April 5th for some reason... hmmmmm. Odd, considering the original posts were in February.
Quite frankly, I'm terrified of her. She has ran her car into one of her ex-boyfriend's cars before. She claimed in court it was an accident, but its a bit too coincidental. The woman I was with can be considered the OW. We had an EA (nothing physical) in October/November 2003. It ended in November, but it wasn't good enough for my STBX. Finally I got sick of being controlled by her. I want to pick my friends. It was my fault that I never stood up for myself. Sure, we had an EA, but OW has had a boyfriend since then and our kids play together. We became friends outside of school after STBX filed. She is NOT a girlfriend.
I've been arrested for DV twice and STBX admits they were bogus charges. She's admitted it to friends of hers. In court, she said I threatened her and she was afraid I'd kill her. I've NEVER said that! Anyone who knows me knows I am not like that. With the 2nd charge, the judge ordered me not to have contact with her. She begged me to come back, and a week or so later, she met someone (a cop) and slept around with him. I haven't been home since I found out about that in January.

I need advice. I have a good lawyer. But, from your experiences, what advice do you have for me?

Follow the judge's order....stay away from her! Move on with your life, do your best to be a good parent, be careful who your friends are. But definitely, stay away from that woman! Move if you have to.....

That's my two cents.

Hey I think I saw that on COPS!

Sorry for the sick humor but this is something that you usually only see on tv.

I agree 120% with annasnewlife.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> But definitely, stay away from that woman! Move if you have to.....
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Agreeing with the other posters. Stay clear of her. You know she's trouble and then some! Take good care of your child and yourself!

hey JB - I remember your story from valentine's day and remember sweet's posts about the incident. I know she was having some mental problems at that time and wanted you to take her to the hospital and get back on medication. Does this recent incident mean she is off meds again?

She is obviously mentally ill, the other posters are dead on - follow the judge's order, document everything that has happended you may need it in the future - best of luck Sandy

Thanks for the advice. According to her, she is still on her meds - that's what she said in court anyway. Her anger got the best of her... again. She needs intensive therapy but she won't admit it. She is apparently getting therapy now, but I wish she would go to a different doctor for a second opinion. Its not that I don't trust her doctor's decisions; I just want her to get as much help as possible for our daughter's sake. She used to always tell me that it was just me that made her mad and go into rages. I'm just scared that with our daughter going into her "Terrible 2's" she may not stay under control. I've told her that for quite some time, but nothing was ever done about it.

Right now its a waiting game. We have to go to court on May 24th for the next hearing.

For what it's worth, I think that anger is not a matter of mental illness. It's a matter of immaturity. Our 3 year old daughter was playing with umbrellas at Target the other day and, when I put them back, she had a temper tantrum right in the checkout line. One clerk quipped, "On a scale of 0 to 10, I'd give that about a 9."

My personal experience with anger is that I had a fit when I found out my H was having an affair, including going to a very nice part of Minneapolis at 3 AM and yelling "Sophia A... is a whore." My H and I have interlocking problems, as our priest told me. Before the A was exposed, he was telling me that she was calling him, and I threatened to call her. He punched me and broke my arm. Nice job, too. The ulna was broken in seven pieces, and I had to have three surgeries. $15,000 in medical expenses. Not his finest hour.

Anyway, I believe that the ROOT cause of anger in marriage is an underlying belief in win-lose. If I win, you lose. If you win, I lose. This turns marriage partners into enemies. Harley's book "Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders" does a nice job of describing the renter approach.

I'm just curious -- why are you posting? Have you given up on your M, or are you looking for a way to reconcile? I think that Harley's POJA is the way to end anger. You aren't controlled but you also do nothing that she views as negative. You each find what both finds positive -- in friends, in parenting, etc.

One small example for us: My H has been after me about the house. I have told him I feel like the maid and the nanny. Solution: family pick-up time nightly. The kids and the parents pick up for 15 minutes each night. That's it. House clean. Mom is not the maid. Win-win.

<small>[ April 12, 2004, 10:36 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>