Now she accuses me that I have humiliated her, because I send an email to the contractor. So I have humiliated the contractor too. Far from the truth, the contractor agrees to reduce the price by 15 %, but she will not deal with him because I have humiliated her.
Well I do not know what to do??
She also accused me that I did not let her watched the Olympics, because I went to bed earlier and she was watching them, I came out of bed to get a glass of water and I said according to her, " are you still watching" . So I went to bed, and today she tell me that I did not let her watch the Olympics??
What is wrong??
[img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

I don't really know exactly what to say...But is your wife under the care of a licensed psychiatric professional? If not, it sounds like she really needs some counseling. It sounds like she is playing games with you. In the beginning she wanted the cost reduced of the contractor, but now it's reduced and she still isn't happy. Does she just want something to be unhappy about? I know that I used to be this type of person, and I know that I was not really trying to hurt my husband, but I felt like I had no control of my life. If I were your wife, and I were reacting the same way, it would be because my power had been threatened. It led me to find the silliest things to get upset about (if my husband didn't say something right I would get mad at him, one time I got extremely angry at him for bringing some friends over to visit me when I was sick - I was equating his EVERY ACTION with how much he thinks about my feelings, no matter if he was just trying to help...) What I can say the only way out of it was to make the change myself. I'm trying to think of what my husband could have said to help me (because there is a much larger issue here than your wife being "humiliated" about the contractor). Ask her if she is happy. Is she pleased with her life? Does she feel out of control? Don't ever tell her that her reactions are stupid or that she shouldn't feel that way. The way she acts is a symptom of her larger problem (probably stemming from the bipolar disorder - by the way, was it officially diagnosed?), and you can't treat the symptom without fixing the bigger problem.

Thank you for your kid words.
She goes in cycles, up and down and it is very frustrating
She does not want any help for any body, specially from me, but then she want to fix my things????? Go figure.
I finish talking on the phone with a psychiatrist, and he agree, as she saw her for two month, until she stood up and walk away from the office.
She will not accept her disease. She will not look for help.<p>--------------------------<p>Married 43 years
3 children
2 grandchildren
I'm living with a person that has an incurable disease. Worts that cancer or paralyzed.
But it is for better or for worst etc......

I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you had been married so long! Congratulations! I am wondering if your wife has always been like this (in which case you would have to be one of the most patient and loving men alive) or if she recently (maybe in the last few years?) changed. Could her actions be the result of a life-changing event (like the death of a very close family member, etc)?<p>Is joint conseling an option? Maybe it would be a little easier for her to swallow going if she knew it was for both of you, not just that SHE has a problem, but the two of you as a married couple have a problem.<p>Feel free to come to the board and vent when you need to. We're all here to listen and give feedback. Best wishes.

Perhaps if someone else close to her were able to discuss the concerns about her emotional state...would she take it better from her sister or a friend or something like that? I also figure at 43 yrs of marriage, she's at least 60...when was the last time she had a complete physical? I had a dear friend who had some wild mood swings...we thought it was because of high blood pressure. Found out after she had passed that she'd had a tumor for a while. Another friend said that her hormones went completely out of whack at the onset of menopause and she thought she was insane. I would try to get her to the doctor. Maybe it has a physical root.

Thank You.
She is a physician herself.
Does not believed in med.
This problem have been present since I know her, but have been aggravated in the last five years.
Does not want to see any body.
She just blame for every thing.

Jimmie,<p>I must admit my first thought when I read your post above was "oh, Lord!" Boy, do you have a dilemma here. I wish you luck.<p>My only response now is that in your sig I see 'but it's for better or worse...' well, worse can be pretty damn bad.<p>She really does need help. Maybe someone else will have an idea.