My husband left our marriage in late January (first left in December...told me he didn't love me enough, then came back...said he loved me, then left 3 weeks later). He's living nearby in an apartment. It was a shock when he left our 3.5 year marriage. He said he wasn't happy, the marriage for the past 1.5 years wasn't what he expected. I have seen him 4 times since he's been gone. One very tearful meeting recently. He says he will call, then doesn't. He says he needs to work on his issues before he considers us. I am in limbo. Anyone else have this situation? I'm very, very sad, lonely, empty...

Separated:

I'm so sorry you find yourself here.

It is slow around here on the week-end (and this is a "holiday"), so the week-end may have started sooner than usual.

You probably don't need to be on a Divorcing/Divorced forum at this point in time. I think you would find a bigger "audience" on GQII (General Questions).

In the meantime, please begin reading the Concepts found on a link at the top of this page. Learn all you can about EN's (Emotional Needs) and maybe even order His Needs/Her Needs.

It sounds like your short Marriage has not been meeting needs, and your H (husband) is feeling very lonely, too.

There IS help! There is hope. But you've got to find the cause for his unhappiness and get to work to fix what is your portion of the problem.

Understand that we have all felt what you are feeling now. Many are here who can help. Good luck to you!

and God Bless,

He says he doesn't love me enough to try to work things out. He never told me that he was unhappy in our marriage until I confronted him and pushed the issue. I knew that he was unhappy, but thought it was due to other factors - Holiday blues, family issues, but not our marriage. He says I wasn't "there" for him...I neglected his emotional needs as it seems. I was busy focusing on work and volunteer projects and not paying enough attention to him. I see this now and want to work on things, but he's not being receptive to counseling with me. He is very distant. SOunds like you had some emotional needs issues in your marriage, but you're working it out.

Seperated,
You need to be in Plan A. Research it and start posting in the Plan A/ Plan B. You still have hope if you can start making the changes in time.

If you haven't bought "His needs her needs," then do that.