This is my first post, but have been reading the boards for several months.

After 18 years of marriage and 8 1/2 years of dating (HS sweethearts), I suspected DH was having an affair and was correct---He admitted it. I have found numerous financial activities that he has not told me about (ie. credit cards I didn't know about, exercising stock options, paying her mortgage, a secret cell phone). He was also fired from an great job in December (over $250,000 a year) and lied to me about the reason why. I'm dealing with a pathological lier who is unemployeed and going through our money faster that I can track it. Both of us have always been non-confrontational----me, much more than him.

I filed for divorce around the 20th of March. I so did not want to, but felt it was necessary in order to stop his spending frenzy. We have children and I'm a stay at home mom. He was exercising stock options left and right and I had/have no clue (except the painfully obvious one) where all the money was going. He was put under an injunction much to his anger and dismay, that forbade him from exercising more options without my knowledge.

Long and short of the story is that he's been gone almost 6 weeks now and refuses to tell me where he is. His phone calls are filled with anger and hatred. I have begged him to talk, but he puts me off, saying maybe "next" week. I'm sure it's a control thing. My therapist told me that I'm wasting too much emotional energy on getting him to talk to me. So I stopped. We went 10 days with no communication until this weekend.

He came home on Saturday and said we'd have a "nice dinner and go to church". AUGHHH. I refuse to go to church on Easter Sunday with a man who has yet to mutter an apology.

I need advice. We have not talked about the divorce ONE MINUTE. Every time he calls, he's pissed about this or that. I've tried to tell him why I did this (to protect our assets and his alcohol), but I'm tired of being the one that always puts themselves "out there". Also, for some reason, I don't want him to be the one that dictates when/where we'll talk.

It's almost like we've saved up 18 years of anger and now it's coming out. Except that our marriage is now on the line and he won't talk.

I'm tired of begging, but I'm really not certain I want this to be over with. He is filled with such anger---I don't think he ever in his WILDEST dreams thought I'd have the courage to do this.

Thanks for any advice.