Hi Yall, I am actually Sdcc31 but am having probs with my internet address so I am using my H's address and username. Anyway, I have always related to your story our situations are very similar. First, I see Congratulations are in order - good for you on your anniversary. Must have been hard to celebrate? It has been 6 months since I told my h of my affair - he would not have known if I hadn't revealed it (wanted to make things right). I am wondering how yall are really doing - how do you deal with the anger and are you working on your marriage? My h is still here but not really working on the marriage at all - at least I don't feel like he is. I feel further from him than ever at this point. Have the two of you experienced anything similar and if so how have you moved past it. My h just wants to get as much time between him and that day as he can and meanwhile I am supposed to just wait, however, he stills expects me to take care of his needs. Maybe I will just have to spend the rest of my life in a one-sided marriage to pay for my wrong-doing? Any advise from others is also appreciated.

just moving this to the top so you won't miss it

Sdcc,<P>My guess is you've already been living in a one-sided marriage for quite some time, am I right? So, I think you've already paid that price enough. And the saddest part is, your H is paying too, and he doesn't even realize it. His withholding giving 100% to your marriage hurts him just as much as it hurts you. Hence, your affair. He needs to recognize that it's not his place, or anyone's for that matter, to punish you. Did you see the thread called, "The Walkaway Wife" I posted today? Well, there is a link to a great article (short) written by Michele Weiner-Davis that I think speaks to many of us. It sounds like maybe your H could benefit from reading it. <P>I'm very sorry he is not cooperating. Have you two tried any counseling? <P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

Sdcc here:New woman - thanks for your support. I have come to a decision that I need to learn to be more loving so that he can feel safe enough to start taking responsibility for his part in this marriage. He is just not ready to start rebuilding - he is still too angry, can't get past the recurring thoughts of me and the om. I feel that I must be patient but thanks so much for understanding my viewpoint - it helps to know I am not completely out of line with my thoughts and emotions. We have gone and are still seeing a counselor on a fairly regular basis - mostly it is me that goes on the advise of the counselor. Thanks again I will be checking out more of your posts.

Hello Lone Star and Petunia are you out there anywhere?