Hi to all those who still remember me, and a special hi to you if you don't know me yet.

The short story is that my husband committed adultery and left our marriage over a year ago. Actually, the anniversary of DDay was just over a week ago.

In that year, I have made a pretty good go of the new opportunities that this awful situation offered me. One of which was to go and live overseas. I have been out of my home country for 3 months. Spent a month travelling in Thailand and Cambodia. Then landed in the UK where I have been working ever since.

I left MBers behind too. This is my first post here in at least 4 months. I got to a stage with MBers where I couldn't find anything to move on with. Trying to help others became too frustrating and reminded me of my lack of success with my own marriage - who was I to be dispensing advice???

ANYWAY, you ask, why am I back here?? I am asking myself the very same thing. The unanswered questions from my marriage/separation/impending divorce are coming up again and again for me. Things that I can rationalise away, and thought I had put to rest keep cropping up.

I haven't really talked to the soon-to-be-ex-husband since sending a Plan B letter almost 11 months ago. And I don't wish to talk to him either. The thing is, that I feel like I need answers from him. If only I could get the answers I need without talking to him!

Before I left my home country, I had thought that I was very near to closing this chapter of my life (except for the actual divorce - but that's another matter) but this journey half way around the world has just shown me that I hadn't really put things to rest.

Anyone else out there feel the same way?? I'm sure I can't be the only one!! Please let me know if you have been through something similar, because right now I am finding it really hard to enjoy the beautiful sights I am seeing on the other side of the world all because of a stupid A$$ of a husband! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Enigma - the adulterous affair is hard for the betrayed to accept. Your husband is probably like many of our wayward spouses. They don't want to take responsibility for their adulterous life, destroying the marriage, and if you have kids, involving the kids.

My ex is the same to this day. It is hard to move on, inside you feel ugly, you feel worthless, you feel that it was all your fault. For he was the one who had the affair, and you were committed forever. Have you been in counseling. With counseling, you can get your life together, and enjoy the scenery God has given to you. I still at times, feel ugly and so forth. Those feelings are leaving little by little. I know that I did my best. I know that I was a good woman, a good mother and a good wife. My ex is the one that physically abused me and emotionally abused me and the children.

With you being out of the country, have you found a good church to go to? It is hard hon, and your husbands betrayal is relatively new in finding. Give yourself time, and do things for yourself, and get some counseling.

Thankyou for replying Faith4me. I really do want to move on and in a sense don't feel that I belong here at Marriage Builders, however, I am back because I still have some issues to settle, unfortunately <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .

Part of the problem is that I have had much more time on my hands now than I did last year when I was living my old life, which was really busy.

Today I did some journalling - something which I relied heavily on to get me through the first few months after DDay. Until I started writing, I had totally forgotten about all of those coping strategies that I used last year. I need to go back to these.


With you being out of the country, have you found a good church to go to?

Actually, there is a church near where I live, which my old church has strong links to. I haven't been there yet, but have made plans to go this Sunday.

Thanks for your input. I just have to ride this one out, I think.