My ex has paid child sporadically, if at all, over the last year and is now $6,000 behind. I"ve been struggling to support our 3 children and have managed to do so with some help from my church and family. The only bill i'm behind on is my gas/electric bill, and the disconnect notice came today......pay $585 by April 23 or else!

I just don't know what to do....of course I"ll call and talk to them, but I can't promise money I just don't have. My church and mom have helped me so much I hate to ask again.

Any ideas?

I'm not sure about your area but I've been in a tight spot with that myself and talking to them usually works (or I can say it did the time I did it). They will work with you and likely come up with a payment arrangement that you can afford. Also I know some electric companies have discounted rates for people in need. I don't know if your area does this or if you'd qualify but you may want to check.

If all else fails, do ask for help. I hate doing that myself and don't really have anyone to help me but if they are there for you and willing, take them up on it and then pay them back as you can.

I hope this all works out for you. My thoughts are with you!

I am so sorry to hear this and too suggest to ask for help if you need it...do you have any family that could help you right now?...in the past have done many things for my family and now in return they are supporting me 100% and I truly appreciate it...I belong to a group called Divorce Care where many of the church members are more than willing to help in these cases..I suspect your church would not mind helping you out of the situation as well...

((((((((Hugs))))))))

anna - talk to your service company. I did and they do have a program that they will go on payments plans. And they have resources that can help you out in need. One in fact is the Salvation army. If you can show cause and need, they will help you, and have other resources that you can go to. It is horrible how they don't consider the needs of you and your children.

You will need to take the bill and all the records of income that you have. I forgot what else I needed to take. Good luck, hon, this is a difficult time for you and your children. God does see what your husband is doing, and he will be paying for his consequences sooner or later.

Last year my xh owed me over 15k and I almost lost everything I owned. I also had outrageous electirc and gas bill. Almost same amount. Paay or try to find help to pay the past due. That is what iI did until I could gather up enough to pay it off. Pay only the past due right now. E xplain it to the company and see if they can split up some payments or something.

Hi Anna,
I can't remember what state you live in. Everyone here gave great suggestions, you may just have to swallow a little pride. Can't you get CS garnished from your ex-husband's wages? I think most states have that... here's a link, I hope it helps! State Child Support map

I'm in Ontario, and have had similar issues with the utilities. My stbxH stiffed me with about $800 of past due utility bills that were transferred onto my new account after I moved and left him. I hadn't changed the bills into his name soon enough I guess... but at least I didn't have to pay for ALL of his usage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Anyways... here in Ontario, there are at least 2 agencies I was able to get help from. One was the "Boys and Girls Club", where they have a special allowance for lower income families to help with utils, groceries, clothing, etc. Another agency called T.H.A.W. (can't remember what it stands for) was also available to me (it can be applied for every other year).

If you call your local welfare/social assistance office, they should be able to give you resources to contact in your area; places that may be able to help you with your costs.

In the meantime, yes, make sure you call the company you owe the money to, and see what kind of payment plan you can arrange.

And don't forget to conserve whenever you can. Switch those 60+ watt bulbs for 40's, turn down your fridge and freezer, do more bbq'ing and less oven-time, air dry clothes when possible, etc. Every little bit helps.

Karen

p.s. oh yes... and DEFINITELY see what you can do about getting your x's wages garnished for CS. These deadbeat parents need to get some reality checks, and thankfully there are agencies and governments finally helping our families out. (my ex now owes over $4000 in past due CS... so I know all too well the battles involved. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ).

THanks everyone, I feel alot more encouraged after reading your posts!

I live in IA, where wages are automatically garnished.....unfortunately, my xh is either not working, working for cash under the table, or being supported by his gf...who knows! Child Support Recovery has tried everything....taking his license (I thought that was dumb, he's a truck driver, so he lost the one job he did have), threatening him with jail, etc....so now he goes to court for for contempt May 24. I sure hope we get somewhere!

In the meantime, I will call the energy company tomorrow and talk to them as a first step. I am on an Energy Assistance plan that gave me $375 over the winter, and my church gave me $300. But, this is a drafty old house and even with plastic over all the windows averaged $400 a month for heat. Ouch!

Anna,

I'm not sure if you have it, but here we have a program called Helping Hands. They have found organizations that will put new windows in your home, and help with insulation. They've even done roofing. There are a few families here who have gotten help from them.

I know how it is to have to borrow money from family to pay bills. It's horrible. Does your exH own anything? If he does, sometimes the state will force him to sell it to pay the CS. One of my aunt's ex had an excavation/landscaping company and they forced him to sell his equipment to pay her the $45K he owed.

Hope things look better for you soon!

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sorry to hear that you are struggling. When we move into our new house, I know the bills are going to be staggering.

With my XH's record of losing jobs and taking forever to find new ones, I have never relied on his CS checks to get by. All it is to me is bonus money. I put it in a separate rainy day account and pay our bills out of my own income, small as it is right now.

I will keep you in my prayers. I keep telling myself "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "God won't give me more than I can handle" ... and smile at how da** strong I must be!

Anna, I pray that your financial situation improves.

In the Fresh Start divorce book, there was a comic with XPB's saying with the caption "I know
God won't give me more than I can handle, but I think he's mistaken me for a woman in Minnesota".

Think positively, and ask for help.

You all cheer me up so much! I just talked to the gas/electric company and they said I can take 24 months to pay off my arrears.....which makes it an extra $25 a month on top of the regular bill. If I'm ever late, they disconnect instantly. It'll still be hard, but it's something and at least they won't be shutting off the power!

I'm getting married in Oct. and we'll be moving into a new house, if we ever agree on one, lol. I know my financial situation will be better then, regardless of what my ex does.

So glad to hear you got it straightened out!!

Anne,

Check with the Salvation Army as well---many times they have funds available and if they don't they can call around to churches and other agencies who can sometimes help--even if it's $25 or $30 dollars from different organizations---

They will ask if you've gone to other organizations and such--and if they were able to help--if so then they call and verify that--and the amount they were able to help with--they are usually really good about helping especially when there are children involved---