My H has low self esteem and thinks things about me that are totally untrue, he has jelousy issues and makes something out of things that aren't even there. He told me is mad, that I have no respect and thinks that i have some on going joke between my friends and i about HIM! which is totally untrue, but he is convinced of it! NOthing I say seems to make him see otherwise! I want to sit him down and talk to him tonight, be brutally honest with him, tell him he has huge self esteem issues and point that out to him, tell him how hard it is to love him when he doesn't even love himself, when he convinces himslef of situations that are not even true. I just don't know if this would be too harsh, although I feel he needs to hear it! Would this be a major love buster? I need for him to know that his delusional thoughts are not true! That I don't sit there and talk about him and make fun of him, and if there are any jokes made in his presence, they are not directed at him and they are in no way said to personally put him down.
We didn't say a word to eachother last night.I don't know if I'll be just wasting my energy and my breath trying again to convince him that he is wrong on his views as he doesn't believe me, he thinks that I'm not happy with him,that I want something better, that I'm going to leave him one day, he is so negative and it is so hard to love him when he is like this.
I don't know if anybody can help but I just don't know if confronting him about his low self-esteem is a wise thing to do.

I think you need to communicate to him what you feel. This is affecting you and he needs to know it. I don't know what the reception will be ~ there's no way to tell.<p>I can tell you that I had someone like that and it got to the point that his "overactive imagination" turned to stalking, control, manipulation and abuse. He needs to know your feelings. And as your partner, he should respect your feelings. <p>Unfortunately sometimes people with low self-esteem make themselves feel better by "blaming" others in their lives for their own insecurities... in this case YOU.<p>Proceed with caution... he may not agree with you and he may not want to listen. He may get upset with you. BUT is this a LB? Or would a bigger LB be sitting back, feeling bad and not being allowed to communicate your feelings? I think the latter would be the worst thing to do. NOT communicating is one of the worst things we can do in a relationship.<p>Do you think he will consider some sort of counseling? He can learn new ways to love himself, to find confidence in himself, to trust himself...<p>Good luck,
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