well in dec we went to a xmas party and right in front of me she said to a guy hey i got black bra and black panties you want to go jump in the pool
i was outraged so i went up to the rooom we rented and went to bed
i wake up 4 hours later and went downstairs the only 2 left from the party are my wife and this guy in the pool
so i went home
she said whats wrong i said do i even have to tell you that?
i said everybody elses spouses and girlfriends went to there rooms except you thats whats wrong
so come jan shes already been on 7 vacations without me while i stay ome with the kids.
all i asked is to go on one i wasnt asking for much i dont think
then 3 weeks ago she came up and asked me can i go shhot pool with todd tonight i said well how come we dont go
so she got mad and slept on the couch for 2 nights so i told her i know whats more important to her so i moved out
6 years ago she cheated on me
so i got my stuff out she had a personal check ready for me within 2 days for the half equity of the house so my name is already off the house
so is this really over you think do you guys think i had a right to leave or was i jumping the gun
within a week my kids said she came home drunk with hickeys all over her didnt take her that long
then she came home one night from the bar and i peeked out the window and saw her hop out of a ford explorer and when she came home i asked how did she get home she said a taxi lies
lies,infidelity,trust,disrespect i cant do this anymore and yet the blame still lies on me how i do not know
if shes unhappy she should leqave instead of doing all these acts and hurting me

Jimn,

I hate to break the news to you buddy, but the fat lady is singing. I hate that you have had to endure so much s**t from her. I feel for you. My ex had an affair on me also and a year later I am divorced, happy, still in my house, and have joint custody of my son. I know it is tough, but you gotta let this sleeze bag of a woman go. Have a little pride and move on. You are above that kind of non sense...I know, probably a little rage in this post, but I hate to see someone have to deal with stupid s**t like this guy has. Hope it works out for you Jimn, no matter how it turns out.

thnaks for the encourgment i hope i can make it through this im so depressed about everything it really getting me down

Hang in there Jim. I have been in your shoes and it seems like there is no way you are going to be able to survive it, rather hopeless huh? But believe me, what you are feeling is completely normal. You are grieving and need to go through this to heal. Keep your head up and know that it isn't the end of the world and will get better. You almost have to force yourself to keep going and not give up. Go out and do things, go to a movie, exercise, etc...If you aren't in a church, find one...turn it all over to God and he will take care of it.

Jimn
Have you tried Plan A or Plan B? IMHO you should be there posting and reading all about plan A or Plan B. It will give you time to thinks things thru, to set boundaries and conditions. There are things you can do to save the marriage if you want that. You don't have to go straight for the big D. A marriage can not begin to work until the affair has ended. You know she's doing it. Do you know that most affairs die a natural death within 6 months? Can you wait that long to see what happens?

well im just confused like i said it seems to me the ball is in her court evrything happened so quick i didnt even no what happened except i shouldnt be in a conversation with my wife about going to shoot pool with another guy we shouldnt be haveing this conversation.
shes just not being honest with herself or to me whats been going on
fine i didnt meet her en but is that worth divorcing and turn9ing away from me instead of coming to me
she said she did but not good enough im tell you
i moved out the house is settled in 3 days where did she get this money so soon to buy me out did she have all this planned
well i just dont get it or dont understand maybe i never will its devistating to me
jim