I have a problem and don't know if it is mine, my wife's or both. We married 8 years ago and still have two kids at home. A daughter that is my wife's from a previous marriage who is 14 now and my son from a previous marriage who is 17 now. Everyother weekend and some weeknights, they are at other parents' home. My wife has been growing much closer to our daughter recently. It seems to me that when the three of us are together, she treats me differently than when it is just the two of us. I have no problem with her being close to our daughter or getting less attention when it is the three of us, but my wife seems less patient with me and more critical of me. She says she doesn't think she treats me any differently. Is likely that it is all my imagination? There is probably a lot more detail needed, but I am trying to keep this short. I would be happy to supply any more information if it would help.
I don't want this to get worse...we've made it this far including losing our (my wife's) oldest son two years ago in a car accident when he was 24.

Ron

Hi Ron,

I feel bad that nobody has responded to you, and I really don't understand your situation and feel unqualified to answer. I'm new too, and still learning about the concepts myself.

I hope that when I answer this it moves to the top and someone who can help you writes.

I hope you can get some help from one of the experts here, because you sound like you're in pain and feel ignored. That never feels good.

<small>[ April 25, 2004, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: My Shadow ]</small>

Communication is the most crucial component of a healthy relationship -- with anyone.

Sounds like you need to really to talk to her about this in a non-confrontational way. Give specific examples and let her know how these actions of hers makes you feel. Blending families is hard enough and working through the little issues end up being like mountains instead of moehills. Start a little bit at a time and talk, talk, talk!

To "My Shadow" Thank you for your thoughts. You sound like a real caring person. I will try to keep you posted.

To "Elan" Thank you too for taking the time to reply. We did talk quite a bit the night before I posted my message. It did not go really well. I try to talk things out. One thing that is difficult for me is knowing when to just "deal with it" and when to bring it up. The weekend seemed to help some and this weekend we are alone.

Ron