In a nutshell I hope

Former wife filed for divorce last July. 7 days after getting a call from OM's wife. She basically threatened to kick her a&& and drag her in front of the Church should she ever step foot in there again. (She has not)

After some deep discussion and veiled threats about the nature of my relationship wiy our odest daughter I figured it was time to let it go. I would not have my daughter dragged through garbage and interviews and lenghty court battles. That decision only came after much prayer and counsel that it would hurt the children and that eventually they would learn the truth anyway.

My wife quit her IC at that time as she no longer saw it necessary for counseling as she was out of the marriage. I keep going and continue to this day. My former was actually suprised when she discovered that about a month ago.

Anyway...divorce was final last September. By mid October she was already heavily involved with another man. Made the mistake of attempting to bring him into the children's life during that same time. He was there for Thanksgiving, Christmas, along with his mother and sister. It was only at the first of the year that she began to back off from forcing him on the children.

But. . . in the last month or so communication with her and between her has become more frequent. Where she usually did not call when I had the children she now calls most all the time. Even on the one night of the week that I get them which she has never done.

Easter Sunday, as she left Church early to have lunch with boyfriend and his mother she actually stopped and left a note on my car window. It actually had my name on the top. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> This IS NOT the woman I have been dealing with for well over 2 years now. She even finished it with "Have a nice day". The note did not state anything that we had not already discussed nor did it bring up any new issues. Just a note.

Today...I find out that she is back in counseling. With the person who was recommended to us as a joint counselor when we were both in IC. Good or bad I have no idea but this lady and the IC I see now are in the same office.

But I guess what I am really asking...is there hope that after all this time she is beginning to have doubts about this divorce thing? Is it possible that reconciliation might still be possible? I know I hope so and I know the children desire the same thing.

I guess I just see it as a positive step. For well over 2 years she refused to participate fully, every thing was my fault and if she could just get me out then everything would be fixed.

Any ideas or comments from the veterans out here?

<small>[ June 15, 2004, 02:23 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

p.s. I just went to your site (I'm not finished browsing it though). It's very nice.

I have let go to the best of my known ability and in love. If there is something needed for the children then it is done. The good thing here is that it has not been abused by her.

Pressure...*chuckles* witht he exceptions of a few hiccups there has been no pressure from me. There have been a few times that we have some extended conversation but that usually is about the children and the effects the divorce has had on them. And yes...still working on me. Simply trying to be the best Daddy that these children can have, to provide them with a stable enviroment when they are with me.

Involvement...less that 30 days...ink not even dry on the papers and already in my opinion dating AND taking the children. This was the first hiccup. She said it was not a date since her parents were going also. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Imagine that. Christian? Yes...and she has recently begun to read her Bible again. Something tht she has not done in well over 3 years. Her Father is an Ordained Baptist Minister but provided no real hope or influnence in her during this. His take on her relationships was a statement that apparently the OM's wife and I have issues since we were so angry. We just needed to understand that they needed each other. (Yes, I know that he struggles with the knowledge of what really transpired and the love for his daughter. It's alwyas been easier to blame the other person than to accept our own portion of responsibility.) I'm sorry...but I just can't buy that. In the context of marraige no spouse just needs another man or woman in their life unless they are licesened counselors, trained to help others.

Prodigal's coming home. From day one I have viewed her as the Prodigal Wife. I have reached a point, almost, where I look across the fields to see if I see her returning, if not then business as usual. Yes...running, hiding and denying would pretty much sum her up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> if she has actually been willing to go to counseling on her own as a divorced woman, then something's going on in her mind and heart!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, this suprised me greatly. And considering that less than a month ago she was wanting to have a life with this new man and introduce Him into the Childrens life as quickly as possible.

So I pray that what is going on in her mind and heart is the Holy Spirit working in her to simply be honest with herself. Either way it will ensure that the children will have a GREAT Mom and Dad if nothing else.

Thanks so much for your reply and time. It helps me keep my head and mind in a stable mood. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />