I just found out that my EX is getting married again. This will be wife number 5 and I was wife number 2 and we have been divorced now since Dec 2000. He was married to the OW in Feb of 2001 they were divorced 10-2002. He then moved to another state and met and moved in with a woman 2 months after moving to that state. They were married last year and were seperated in Jan, will be divorced here soon and is marrying this other woman after the divorce is final. I suspect that he cheated on his wife with this woman.
The pattern just keeps on. It really shows me that there was probably nothing I could have done to save my marriageto him. There are some mental health issues there.

So if you are a BS please don't beat yourself up over what you could have done differently. Yes, we can all do better but remember this is the WS problem.

that sums it up about right. .

there are definately issues there, and you might even praise youself that you were his wife for the longest period of time.

congratulations if you had been. .

wiftty

He really was a pretty good husband for most of our marriage. It was when he turned 39 that all hell broke loose and he started a mid-life crisis. We were married for almost 17 years.

Wow---wife #5. He definitely is going through some crisis. Does he not see the failure rate he is having?

Thanks for sharing this cause I do believe, in my case, that my WS judgment is impaired by his inability to face reality. I am so sad for him and what a shame for your XH to be repeatedly wounding himself and others.

TW

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jillybean36:
<strong> He really was a pretty good husband for most of our marriage. It was when he turned 39 that all hell broke loose and he started a mid-life crisis. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto for me and my x-H.

I was just thinking about this yesterday....

I'm not saying I couldn't have been a better wife, but the more I think about it, the more I see that what happened really wasn't my fault. My x-H choose to break the bond that held us together....not me. I remember TRYING to figure out what was wrong with him (MLC) and TRYING to address how it was affecting the relationship.

I was comparing this in my head to a car. When one part of your car goes bad (brakes), you don't blame the engine or the fuel system! Sometimes there really ARE pecific actions and consequences that have nothing to do with the rest of the car.

Same with a marriage in many ways. My x-H had issues in his life that really had NOTHING to do with me, that he allowed to fester and break him (He still doesn't speak to his Mom, who he "divorced" at the same time...and he's an only child....sad).

Anyway, just an observation. Thanks to this site, I HAVE learned principles and actions that I know I could have been better at. But I don't look back with any illusions that I could have "fixed" him.