It's been almost a year since my wife and I have separated officially and we are now very close to getting divorced officially. I have to say that I fought this divorce the whole time and now I've come to realize that we probably weren't meant to be together at all. We are so different in terms of our values and beliefs. I used to think that was a good thing--that we could learn from or even change one another for the better. That was a bad idea. The signs were all there to--like I didn't like a lot of her friends because they had the same type of personality traits that I tried to change in her and she didn't really for care for any of my friends either. I don't remember the last time I felt so sure about my place in life.

When your marriage is a strain and you feel like your trying way too hard to make your partner happy that's when you should know it's over. I gave it my best shot but in the end I know that it was all just wasted energy. I may not have anyone special right now but atleast I know what not to look for.

I am separated also and feel the way you posted. My h and I seemed to be similar at first--or least had qualities that the other was looking for. I didn't take time to learn that his 'impulsiveness' was really irresponsibility..his 'childlike sense of fun' was immaturity...his 'quietness' was insecurity...his 'need to be with me' was his lack of any other social outlet...his 'ability to see me as an equal' was really him letting me be the 'mother' and him the responsbility free child.

I really don't have much hope that things will be worked out. He is happy as a clam living back with his mommy and she has her 'baby' back. He will forever be the epitome of the Peter Pan syndrome but in intense denial about it.

I don't have anyone to sleep with, either, but I do have someone special....ME! I am valuable, if to no one but myself and refuse to settle for less anymore.