So after being told that STBXW would probably never be able to be with someone else, because she loved me so much, has joined a website for dating. The kids found it and as they read it said " thats a lie" ......"thats a lie too". When I got home , they showed it to me in disbelief. I never thought they would investigate their hunch that mom was "Moving on". In one way I am happy for her, thinking if she can find someone, she will have less time to bother me. On the other hand, we arent even oficially separated yet. I havent even thought of finding someone yet. We have not been together in only 3 months. She is fighting custody, and I wonder if this in my opinion "irrational" behavior would count against her. Also, is she thinking it will make me jealous? because it doesnt at all. She has exibited many forms of irrational behavior and I guess this is just par for the course.

I doubt the courts would count it as irrational. However, if she’s planning on actively dating and you are not, you could make a case that you have more time for the children than she does.

Definitely feed it to your lawyer. (Gosh, I make it sound like lawyers are pets. Carnivorous pets.)

It’s amazing though what people will say. I’ve come to the belief people will say almost anything when they are having serious marital problems or divorcing. I don’t think people are lying necessarily, although plenty do. It’s more I think that they are making statements based on very confused emotions and not dealing with logic or reality at all.

That GG was very good .

(It’s more I think that they are making statements based on very confused emotions and not dealing with logic or reality at all.)

As I said, I am not angry with her at all because I think she really does need help, and I hope she finds it. Her greed however has been tasteless, and is hurting the kids.

Sometimes, just the right words can make anyone feel better. May I save your thought for future reference?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Definitely feed it to your lawyer. (Gosh, I make it sound like lawyers are pets. Carnivorous pets.)
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They are! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Except I have to keep feeding mine money! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Lawyers are carnivorous manhungry gr$$n pastures. I can attest to this.

The kids are keeping an eye on mom, for fear of a divorce. They showed this to you, for they are hurting deep inside and are seeking help from you. I don't believe she is doing this to hurt you. I do believe she is doing this cause she is lonely.

I would agree, that if she has time to date, that will cause less time with the kids. And you, on the other hand have no intentions of dating, so therefore you will have plenty of time to be with the kids. I would suggest this to the lawyer.

Divorce is ugly, and the kids are the ones that get hurt worst. My one son, can't wait to get out of my family. He graduates from HS and is going to go away for college. Which I feel is the best thing for him right now. I am divorced as of June 2003. My ex is irresponsible in many ways. Doesn't take accountability for his actions, and the kids are seeing it now. Ex is in another state where the other woman is, and the kids really don't want to know about what he is doing.

Just be there for your children, and show them that they are loved by you. YOu will have to set boundaries, which they will appreciate someday.

In all reality, they were laughing when they saw the webpage. They told me that if she found someone, she would leave us alone.

Her abuse has taken it's toll with them. Now that they are out of that situation, they think alot of the things are funny, like "remember the time mom threw the steak knife at dad and it stuck in the wall?"

They were very upset when it was happening, but now that they have been relieved of it, they can laugh, just as I do. I guess it is our way of "moving on".

I have contacted another counseling group and am trying to get on the list. They asked me alot of questions and said they thought I may need counseling more than the kids.

Money spent on good counseling is not an expense. It is an investment in one's self.