This is the worst week of my life.

I told my wife about 2 affairs I had (each was @ 2 months long). I told her two months ago. We stepped back and took a breath and I did everything I could to comfort her and to enroll her in new possibilites in our marriage. We had been living in a stagnant state for 2 years (I had a travel job that took me overseas for about 30% of the time which didn't help), and I truly wanted (and still want) to take our marriage to so many higher levels. In the last 2 months, there have been 3 occasions--extraordinary occasions--in which she agreed to work it out. I have since found out that she has fallen in "love" with a coworker whose wife of 5 years left him 5 days after I told my wife. This has been developing since the day his wife left. Misery loves company. Sunday she told me that she truly loves this guy and does not want our marriage. Even our therepist admits that she's making some very big decisions under the influence of emotions that may not be real. I love my wife dearly and can't stand the thought of losing her, not being a family.

Marc,
I'm sorry for your situation. Hmm, how to be kind and encouraging while still saying what I truly think....
First of all, there is still hope for your marriage. If you follow the principles here you may still have a chance.
Secondly, I am sorry to say this and I hope it doesn't come across as being mean, but rather just truthful. Basically, at this point you have to realize that this is your doing, you are reaping what you sowed, getting what was coming to you, etc... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Do you realize hoe hollow your words of wanting to "take your marriage to new heights" must have sounded to her after TWO affairs? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I am glad that you came to your senses when you did and realized the error of your ways and the value of your marriage, but it's possible that it may just be too little too late. She has found comfort in the arms of another, someone who can relate to the pain and anguish YOU have caused her.
However, like I said before, if you follow the priciples layed out here, you may have a good chance at restoring your marriage. But be forewarned, it will probably be a LONG, HARD journey.
Best wishes to you, and I hope that this wasn't too harsh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />