I've been divorced for two years. My xw file for sole custody of my daughters. Went to court, settled out of court minutes before walking into the court room. I have 6 out of 14 days.

Less than two years later she is getting married and is moving 20 miles away. She wants to put the kids in a new school and has filed for me to have custody every other weekend, every Wednesday.

I will be going to court for three things this summer. 1) She want full psychiatric evaluations on everyone. 2) Custody 3) School system

This is what I have to offer this situation.
I live in the same house since 1995, my girls grew up there. I will keep them in the school system that they have been in since kindergarten. I am getting married in the summer of 2005 to a woman the same age as me that has a 15 year old son. Everyone gets along very well and my girls adore my feiance.

She wants to move them away 20 miles away from me. She wants the girls to see much less of me. She is putting them in the third different house since the divorce. She wants to enroll them in the largest public school in Indiana. Her feiance is 12 years older than her, (48), and has never had any kids.

How can she see this as acting in the best interest of the kids? Can anyone give me opinions?

Thanks

How old are your girls?

11 year old twins

Wow -- that's a tough age. I really feel for your situation. My kids do live with me and visit their Dad EOW and on Tuesday evenings. However, in our case, I was the one who kept them in their stable home environment and he was the one who moved 20 miles away.

I, too, am in Indiana. I can tell you, that in our state, I believe the judges here to be very much Pro-Dad. Don't think for a minute that you won't very possibly have a very strong case. My experience in the courts, in addition to them being Pro-Dad, is that they are not as sensitive as we (as parents) are to our kids being moved around. Actually, I took it as a slap when I was told by our judge that all the going back and forth for kids is "what happens in a divorce". OUCH!!!! Not at all what I was looking for!

Anyway, it sounds like your divorce agreement does not include the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. If you are having your parenting plan modified, I would suggest you having them incorporated into your new agreement. They are very "dad-friendly". Also, does your ex-wife know that SHE will be responsible for making the 20 mile trip to pick up your girls every Wednesday night and EOW on Sunday night? That, too, is stipulated in the Indiana Parenting Guidelines. The move may not be quite as attractive to her when she finds this out.

If I can give you any more insight, please let me know. I wish you and your girls all the best.

Oh one more thing......Why does your ex want psychological evaluations on everyone??? Does she have "good reason" for that request? It is my understanding that she can't just request them "because". There has to be some legitimate reason for the request.

Sarah

Hmmmm....... Sounds familar to me. My kids have been through 2 houses, 2 different schools, and 2 different towns since our divorce and I think we're heading down the same road as you.

1st off, 20 miles is no reason to break any existing arrangements. Sure the kids have more commute time but it's not unbearable.

I presume that you've talked with an atty about all this already but what do you know about the Judge? Is he/she conservative, pro-woman, or more liberal?

If you're planning on asking for a Child Psych evaluation then that needs to be done ASAP. I don't know about there but I had a friend who went through that down here and it was drug out 3 months before the report was submitted at a cost of over 2G each.

Best of Luck. Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

I live in Michigan. She is moving to Indiana, we are very close to the border. So Indiana courts tendencies will not apply but thank you very much for the insight.

I fear that I'm heading down the same road too. I've called it from the day she moved out. However there is not much you can do about speculation. You must deal with the facts at hand. She has told me she does not think I am a fit father, thus her reasoning for a second psych eval. The first one found nothing wrong with me. Why would the second one find anything different? Why would she think an eval find her new husband to be a better father than me? He is 48 and never has had kids?

I have requested of the courts to let my children remain in the same school and adjust custody to every other week with the exchange day being Sunday. I feel this would have the least amount of impact on my girls and not take there mother away from them.

Peace

I'm in NJ. I was told that I can basically never leave the state of NJ, because my children are now NJ children.
Once the kids are moved out of the state of divorce protection, then she could possibly move anywhere.

To me the 20 miles isn't much. In some places that is only 20 minutes. I moved 25 miles away and hear about it constantly. Thank goodness I don't have the IN laws that I'd need to do all that driving. I still do more just on a daily basis.
Your prior psych evaluation should be sufficient. There's likely no need for another.

Now, how involved are you in the children's daily activities. Who takes them to Dr.s visits, teacher conferences, dance or sports classes? These daily activity questions may come into play. And since they are girls, the courts are more likely to give your wife consideration.
Make sure you understand the issues of moving the children to another state.

It is the same in Michigan, my children are children of the state. Anytime she moves it has to be approved by the court. The only reason she is allowed to leave the state is because I'm 4 miles from the border.

I've always been very involved with my girls. I have never missed a parent teachers conference, I pretty much always take care of the dental visits, I take them to the doctor, I am their basketball, softball and hockey coach. I am the vice president of their softball league. I help the school out with field trips. We do yard work together, snowmobile trips, dirt bikes, skiing, fishing, ride motorcycles, go to church, just about everything.

This is not something that has come around since the divorce. I've always been very active in their lives. I have done a lot of thinking about this and have come to the following conclusion. There is not any doctor or judge that is going to find in the best interests of my daughters to leave a school that they are doing very well at. Or move away from the neighborhood they have grown up in. Or see much less of the father they are so close to. This does not mean I can sit back and watch this unfold. I've got a letter from the school confirming how well they are doing in school. I have character witnesses lined up and have added flowers to my landscaping at my house to soften it up a bit.

Peace

It sounds like you are on good grounds here.
Trust that all will go well.
We know the courts don't like to be played by either parent, and if the prior eval showed well, the courts will likely see this as a ploy on her part.

i was reading this and have a similar ? -

first my situation, my ex and i have joint custody - however, we rotate every two weeks and he lives in or should i say lived in Kansas City, MO, our case was determined in Kansas City, MO, but he moved to Nebraska, then now moved back to St. Louis, MO, I have filed in VA for sole custody based on him moving so much, I reside in VA and daughter will be 3 years old soon. Court date June 1, what do you all suppose will happen. Will they change custody based on that, she attends daycare here, but no daycare there, and she has 8 cousins in this area. Please help and any advise would be appreciated.