I am new here ~ I do not want to go into detail so I will try and make this quick.

Married for over 17 years, thought it was a good marriage, very content, very sure of my husbands love and commitment to me and our family, thought we had a good husband/wife relationship. About 2 years ago this all changed, I found that my husband was not content, that I had failed in areas he needed, building him up, making him feel loved, letting him know I was proud of him, I thought I had been doing those things but I was not, at least not how he wanted. And I have found that I have put our children before my husband, that I did not keep up with my spunky spontaneousness after the kids came along.

Then another woman came into our lives and now my husband has a friendship (relationship) with her that I feel is not acceptable, discussed this with my husband and although he admits to pushing the lines, he says it is nothing and that he is not going to stop/avoid seeing her and calling her.

How can our marriage ever work if I can not accept this relationship? I am afraid that my believes are going to be the ruin of my marriage ~

Advice please ~

Mom of 3

Welcome to MB. I'm a Dad of 4.

It's hard to have a family and not put your children first. After all, they do need the most attention.

I always felt that my STBXW put our children before me and she did to an extent, but I'm an adult and a father. If my kids are not the most impotant thing to their mother then I would think something was wrong with her.

Sounds like your H is having at least an EA with this woman and it will need to end to make sure that D doesn't come your way.

I would start by reading all you can here. This can get you started.

Basic Concepts
Q&A Columns
Articles

One thing that I have always belived is that an Afiar is an Afair wether it is physical or not but it is best to stop it before it becomes physical.

Make sure that you understand what you need to do to meet his EN's and start working an plan A.

Make it so he understands that it is you that he is meant to be with.

Good luck
Sorry you need to be here
WIWH

Father of 3

Reverse the roles and we could write the same book.

WishI Werehome pointed you in the right direction. Read all of the information that was listed in his post. From there jump over into one of the more active forums, Recovery, General Questions and post there.

If and only if the relationship he has with this other woman stops will you marraige be rstored. If he continues down that path then you a as a loving and supportive wife may have to establish boundaries to protect yourself and the children.

I wish that the circumstanses were different but around here the mindstate your husband is in is called the "FOG". A place where spouses can and will say and do some of the most foolish things you have ever heard or seen.

There are many who can give you much better advice than I. There are many here who have recovered their marriages from the brink of disaster.

Praying For Your Family