My H and I have been married 15yrs, We have 2 children. Our marriage has had its ups and downs and other than not communicating real well we have a good marriage. About 5 mos ago I found out that we were in the hole by tens of thousands of dollars. All of which he said he didn't want to bother me with. We had to file bankrupcy, but now I am finding it hard to trust him, and the lies he kept telling me to cover up, are hard to forgive. We are now both in control of the finances but I am afraid the root of the spending problem is not resolved and will resurface in the future, everything we have worked so hard for 15 years to me has been thrown away. Help. Thank-You.

Ouch. I know from personal experience how awful financial ruin can be.<p>There is a Christian Financial Planner named Larry Burkett who has written a ton of books and workbooks. I would really recommend "Debt Free Living" and the 2 workbooks "How to Manage Your Money" and "The Financial Planning Workbook". All of his books talk about the role of financial stewardship in marriage - we have found him to be very helpful. He also has a website where you can get additional information and buy the books.<p>We too had to file for bankruptcy - and we're a little saddened that we may never be able to buy a home. This is a little ironic - considering that I'm an accountant. I was great at managing other people's money, and I had to learn how to be great at managing my family's.
Because spending more than we made was an issue for us - we closed all credit card accounts and lived on a cash basis for three years, despite all the credit card offers that would come daily in the mail. This helped us solve the overspending problem - the first week we had to eat only top ramen cleaned up our spending habits pretty quickly.<p>If you ever decide to open another credit card account - I recommend an American Express card with Membership Rewards. You are forced to pay it in full every month and with any purchases you make, you earn frequent flier miles that you can use toward a rewarding vacation together.<p>Larry Burkett has several strategies for developing a budget and ending the cycle of irresponsible spending. It takes a great deal of time though - especially if you use the POJA - and a great deal of patience. He recommends taking your financial records and going away, just the two of you for an entire weekend devoted to cleaning up your finances. Do this every year - and your money will be in much better shape.<p>We have followed 98% of his suggestions and we now actually have a savings account with money in it. But, I won't sugar coat it for you - educating yourself about money is difficult and time consuming. You will frequently get conflicting information because banks, credit card companies, mortgage companies, brokerage houses - everyone - is trying to sell you something. Trust each other and trust God and you will make the right decisions.<p>Good Luck!