Hi all, some of you may remember me from last year as mommax8. My husband left me again after a year of trying to reconcile. He again has abandoned me and 8 children. I have spoke to him one time since April 7th and the children twice. He lives in another state 4 hours away with his parents and sister. Me and the children just had to leave our family home and we have moved into a 3bdr townhouse that me and the kids are pretty proud of because it is home to us. We all have been pretty devastated, his family and he has just wrote us off like we never existed for the last 17years. I endured his verbal abuse due to bipolar and his alcoholism, i have stood by his side through all of these years and this is what i get. The kids and I feel like thrown out garbage. He of course does not pay any of the child support that the court has ordered, the attorney is trying to move up the court date in order to put in a garnishment order but in the mean time, me and the kids continue to pay for provisions and the Lord has blessed us.

The kids and I are really tired we struggled for a year, things were ok for 3 mths then he started drinking again and it went downhill from there. I don't understand why I can't seem to get over the fact that we will never be together again. Why would I want anything to do with someone that abandoned his wife and children twice.

He again just like last year just returned from Myrtle Beach vacation with his parent's. The kids and I worry what to eat, he gets to have fine dining. It seems to unfair. I know we will be better off, but it just kills me to know that he can walk away from 9 people and begin a new life like we never existed.........

Will the pain ever ease????????

How can you stand this? The first sign that this husband was troubled, you should have QUIT having kids with him!

What happened to make you marry "a man like this" and go on, closing your eyes to his problems and have 8 children with him?

(You made your own life very difficult by doing just this, marrying the wrong man and then having the 8 kids with the wrong man. Don't you know that you are precious?.)

You deserve a much better life than raising 8 kids on your own. But the townhouse is a great step in the right direction. Shelter is one of our basic human needs and you now have that covered.

If you truly wanted 8 kids, in order to make the "8 kid thing" work you would have had to find a "very very good man", maybe a wealthy man, to do it with and have enough money BEFORE bearing all the kids, to live comfortably.

I am glad you found the townhouse. It is a great start for you and the kids. Good Luck.

I married when I was 17 and he was 19 we were kids playing house, we had 8 children by the time i was 30 years old. I never imagined that I would be a single parent of 8 children, I never thought in my worst dreams that he would abandon me like this. He was sober for 12 years and the entire time wasn't so tumultuous but the majority was. I was in such a deep state of denial that I was in a fog for so many years. My road will be a long one my oldest is 16, then 15,14,13,11,10,7 and 4. I just pray that God keeps me around long enough after they are grown that I can begin a new life. Life is so short and anything can happen and I am just so afraid that something will happen too me before I will be able to come out on the other side of this pain and hurt. I know that I am a special person, as someone told me on this site, what a strong women I am that God would entrust the lives of 8 children on my hands alone.

thank you for the encouragement

Yes, it is impossible to know who we are, what the world is, and how to judge other people in the teen years. Even at age 26, I was still in the dark about life. It was like I was not even concious then. I am 48 now.

But you are learning more now! And just think what you have to offer other people. All that wisdom and experiance about life and children. It is like gold.

You met the goal for shelter! What is your next goal you want to "knock out"? I feel if you can give birth and raise 8 kids, you can do anything in life! Because you have such strength!

I have "only" six kids, not eight, but it doesn't really matter - even if you marry later, and your spouse gives every indication of being devoted to the family, and he, like my husband, doesn't drink, there is no guarantee that the spouse won't become clinically depressed in middle age, have an affair, and abandon his family. I was 26 when our first was born - certainly a normal age to have a first child - and I was over 40 by the time our sixth arrived. My H did nothing that would have given me any hint that he would abandon us. Yes, sometimes people marry people that are obviously bad risks, but so often your family can be destroyed by someone who appears to be just the opposite.

Left
It's good to see you again. I've looked for you at the Tough Love thread. I'm glad you were able to get everything moved OK. I know that you may have to get help from outside sources and family until the courts can garnish his wages. Don't be too proud to do this! Is your family helping with other things? I know your salary can't cover everything y'all need!

Did your oldest daughter move back with you, or is she still wanting to stay with and "help" her dad?

The pain will ease in time. Don't rush things. Baba2 was right. If you can raise 8 kids you can do just about anything in life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Keep us posted.

<small>[ May 09, 2004, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

hi all wanted to give you an update, i don't have access to a computer anymore so when i visit my parent's i try to post. Well the update on my daughter is that she is back home with me.

My stbx showed up while i was at work and started going through the house. Luckily my neighbor was home and called me and told me what was happening. I called the police due to restraining order and headed to the house, his mother and him were in the house cleaning it out when i arrived with the police. His mother had a unregistered loaded gun in the car and the police cited her for it. My stbx obviously has had no help because he couldn't put two sentences together and his mother was acting like I had abused him for years and that was why he was so screwed up.. Let see maybe the gallons of mouthwash a day he was drinking and the 20 Ativan on top of it may have something to do with it... Well the coincedence of it all was that I had just got the papers to serve the police in VA where my daughter was and to serve for the divorce. He saved me the trouble I was able to serve him on our front lawn. He was in amazement, he was floored.

Anyway after they were escorted out of town, I went back to work finished my day, and head to VA to pick up my daughter. She is glad to be home she said he is so weird he is crazy one minute nice then mean. His parent's on the other hand have this vendetta to get back at me and have told him to never give me support and to never speak to me and of course he listens to their every word.

He hasn't seen his kids in a month his attorney called me and said he wanted to see them, of course he is only allowed supervised visitation by me, so he tells him that it is too far of a drive 4hours and to inconvenient too have to be under those circumstances. Mind you he was on the phone 2 days before telling my best friend that all he wants is two hours to hold me and see me and that i am his whole world and he misses me so much. That part does rip my heart out because even though he is crazy my heart is breaking apart.

well that is the quickie update, I wish I could just let go, I don't understand why I would miss someone that is incapable of understanding what love is and why I lose sleep and don't eat over it. Oh I almost forgot the biggest whammy of all. I lost my job Friday due to being gone so much having to pick up kids here and there. I figure ok God you have a plan for me lets just get it into motion a little quicker K? I guess I should write a book. The tales of mommax8 and the saga never ends.........