Hi,<p>This is my first time to this site/board so I'm not totally sure what to say so I will share what has happened with my relationship over the last few year.<p>From the most recent; On Monday night (Mar 4th) I found a letter from my wife that basically said she was not happy with our relationship and was not receiving the level of intimacy she needs. The letter went on to say that she would be leaving and would come back to discuss our situation the next day. I found the letter before she planned to give it to me, when I showed her the letter she said she was thinking of not giving it to me since we had an enjoyable weekend together.<p>What led up to the letter has been goin on for some time I guess but has been progressing through all the steps up to almost no communication and what communication we have could be taken as disrespect, sarcasim, or outbursts if not even meant in that general tone.<p>Now that the cat is out of the bag I have been a wreck, I cant eat, sleep, work, I just sit and stare at my computer at the office all day. I don't know how my wife and I let our relationship regress to this state, all I know is that I love her unconditionally and will do whatever it takes to show her that I can change and help to provide the things in our relationship she so despreately needs. We have discussed trying to work things out and we are starting councelling today. (Fri 8th). She has expressed her fears if she stays and try to work things out, she wonders how things could change after we have been this way so long and fears after a short time we will be right back to squeare one. I want to prove to her that I am willing to do what ever it takes but I can see that she as pulled away and I feel I am expressing myself to a wall. It is very hard to try and express my love and feelings for her when I get no response, I think I now know how she fealt when she tryed to express her feelings to me and I did not take them serious or just down played them.<p>I guess what I am looking for is advise on what to do, am I going about it the right way when I try and express my feelings and send her flowers, personal cards, hugs and kisses? As I said I am finding it extremely hard to pour out my feelings to her and get very little response in return. To what I have read on this site I am going about this in the right way, I need to refill her Love Bank and prove that I can do this for more then just a short period.<p>I know there are many things I'm forgetting to mention but I need to leave for an appointment. Thanks for the help and I look forward to all your responses.

my advice is to read everything on this site, the book "His Needs/Her Needs" and take the Emotional Needs questionnaire on this site.<p>Counseling is a great step as well. <p>We all have fears about the ending of our relationships so welcome to the club! I don't know how long you've been married or how old you two are but at some point, marriage expectations usually turn to disillusionment in this day and age. We all have been trained by Disney to believe that we live happily ever after and never does he mention sleepless nights with puking kids, making castle payments when the Prince has been laid off a couple months and Mickey's car never needs a new transmission. That is real life!<p>You might also read Dr. Phil McGraws 'relationship rescue'. It's a good book, too. keep your chin up. At least you are trying to make it better---after reading some posts here, you;ll find out that puts you way ahead of the game.