Women Seeking Men Classifieds


"40-ish" means: 48
"Adventurer" means: Has had more partners than you ever will
"Affectionate" means: Possessive
"Artist" means: Unreliable
"Average-looking" means: You figure this one out
"Beautiful" means: Pathological liar
"Commitment-minded" means: Pick out curtains, now!
"Communication important" means: Just try to get a word in edgewise
"Contagious smile" means: Bring your penicillin
"Educated" means: College dropout
"Emotionally secure" means: Medicated
"Employed" means: Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
"Enjoys art and opera" means: Snob
"Enjoys nature" means: Bring your own granola
"Exotic beauty" means: Would frighten a martian
"Financially secure" means: One paycheck from the street
"Free spirit" means: Substance abuser
"Friendship first" means: Trying to live down reputation as a slut
"Fun" means: Annoying
"Gentle" means: Comatose
"Good listener" means: Hard to get a word out of her
"Humorous" means: Caustic
"Intuitive" means: Your opinion doesn't count
"In transition" means: Needs new sugar daddy to pay the bills
"Light drinker" means: Lush

Women Seeking Men Classifieds, Part 2


"Looks young" means: If viewed from far away in bad lighting
"Loves travel" means: If you're paying
"Loves animals" means: Cat lady
"Non-traditional" means: Ex-husband lives in the basement
"Open-minded" means: Desperate
"Outgoing" means: Loud
"Passionate" means: Loud
"Poet" means: Depressive schizophrenic
"Redhead" means: Shops in the Clairol aisle
"Reliable" means: Frumpy
"Rubenesque" means: You can figure this one out
"Romantic" means: Looks better by candlelight
"Self-employed" means: Jobless
"Smart" means: Insipid
"Special" means: Rode the small school bus w/ tinted windows
"Spiritual" means: Involved with a cult
"Stable" means: Boring
"Tall, thin" means: Anorexic
"Tanned" means: Wrinkled
"Wants soul mate" means: One step away from stalking
"Writer" means: Pompous
"Young at heart" means: How about the rest?

Open-minded free spirit seeks friendship first! Outgoing, passionate, romantic. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by xpButtercup:
<strong> Open-minded free spirit seeks friendship first! Outgoing, passionate, romantic. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Too funny..... I would of never guessed you as a loud person.....

The Helpful Nurse


A man walks into a sperm bank and declares, "I'm of royal blood and have an IQ of 165, and I'd like to make a donation."

The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a private room. Twenty minutes pass and the man still doesn't come out, so the nurse knocks on the door. "Is there a problem?" she asks.

"I'm so embarrassed, I used my right hand. I used my left hand. I poured cold water on it and hot water on it. Could you help me?"

The nurse replies, "I don't usually do this, but you are kind of cute..." She gets on her knees and begins to pleasure him.

"I really appreciate this, but I just needed help getting the cap off the jar!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Thanks, Lost Husband!

We can always count on your to be "special" and "humorous" on a Friday!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />