i have been divorced for 2 yrs. seperated for 3,(2) kids. was married for 13 yrs. my x & i seperated and after a month wife began dating a man who she married 8 months later. (way to fast). subsequently she pushed hard for divorce and got what she wanted. i tried the plans here to stay away early on but couldn't do it at the time. now two years later she is miserable with him however when asked if she wants to come back home she states it wouldn't be right to just come right back from house to house and I agree. (probably never healed from our divorce)
We have became closer over the past 10 months and i have done for her in different ways to gain trust back since i was part of the problem in the old marriage. she comes by the house to pick up kids and at times when the kids are out elsewhere we have had some sexual contact however we both know it isn't right.
she tells me not to push her to return and she will see what happens since i have a habit of pushing when she comes by because i miss her. the sex has sucked me right back into the pursuit.
question is how do I handle her ? and reel her back even though she has a process of seperation and divorce to contend with and it is unknown if she will even do this. she just tells me that this is a process that may take some time.

thanks for the help.

Hi, well I can only tell you that I was/am in a very similar situation - but on the "opposite" side - ie I was the one living with someone else but still going back to my W. What I can tell you is that I knew I wanted to be with my W and not with the OW. But the OW had to be sorted out first. I think the thing my W did so right was not to put any pressure on me at all. She was there, she supported me, she showed she wanted me but never actually said it, she didn't have to. I came to my own conclusion that the OW was wrong and ended it. Now working on repairing the damage with W.

So from my experience i would say that she has to sort out her current relationship before you both work on your own - but she has to be the one to decide. Just be there, no pressure! And the main thing - and the hardest - is have patience!

Good luck!

Graeme