Its final. I will sign the papers next week. I initiated the D, after realizing WS would not file until later. She was, in my opinion, waiting to see if her other prospects were going to work out or not. Here is the background:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=010771#000000I suspect now that she was having an emotional affair last year during her class, which she wanted to pursue into something more. Who knows. We both have been seeing the same psych nurse. She has been treating us both for depression. From my sessions, the psych says the WS has not mentioned anything about someone else. But why would she? I think she would feel embarassed about it all. Why admit to an affair? She knows that everybody that knows about it would condemn it. I have to admit, it was pretty sly of her to drag out this separation for 3 months. It makes it look like she hung in there until I couldnt take anymore. All that time, she is setting up her outside relationship & being attentive to it. In her mind, if I gave up on her, she had the other to fall on. I wonder if she ever thought the affair might fall thru. Did she think I would run back to her if it did, hoping I didnt know about her transgression. Its the whole deception thing that hurts me. Her just acting oblivious really hurt as well.
My mother called her last week. I really didnt want to talk to her myself. My mom had some questions to ask her. She asked her if she would have filed against me eventually. She answered ...yes. That hurt, because she was always asking about the tax return. She wanted us to file jointly so we could get a refund. I filed on her before tax day, thus requiring her to file her tax form separately. She hadn't contacted me for 2 1/2 weeks prior. It hurt to only hear from her in regards to a tax return. My thought was that if we are in marital separation, then you ought to file your taxes separately. She ended up owing $200. I got back $900. Anyway, knowing she would have waited till after we got our taxt return to file on me, hurt me bad.
My mother also asked her if there was anybody else. She didnt answer yes or no, just that she was a different person now than she used to be & rambling on about stuff like that...ie "Ive grown into a different person & I'm trying to figure my life out".
Well, yesterday I heard thru a relative that they saw her in Walmart three weeks ago. She was with another guy. They were at the exchange counter. She lied by ommission to my mom about all that. I know now that she was having an affair. My family is not surprised by it.
I guess I was in denial for awhile. I didnt want to see it for what it was. She was not going to come back, even back in Feburary. I havne't seen her since mid/early March. She came by my place after going on a job interview. I havent heard her voice since March as well. I knew where this was all going. She was trying to let me down easy. I wanted her to file on me, that would have made me feel a lot better. She never mentioned the 'd' word at all during the past few months.
