Can you elaborate on your cousins story. Did he move out. How long did it take him to come around? Did they do a plan? It has been 4 weeks for us and I have not spoken to H. In plan B only a couple of emails about finances.

Thanks,

I got most of my cousin’s story from his wife, believe it or not. They had already had one child and had been married about 5 years. I think several things were going on with them, most of this is guess work. I think she wasn’t meeting his need for admiration and recreational companionship. He wasn’t meeting some of her needs either. Meanwhile, they were in a situation that usually seems to put stress on both partners: the wife making considerably more money than the husband.

He went to his college reunion and met up with an old friend. They talked and talked for hours. They continued talking afterward, and my cousin in law told her husband, it’s me or her.

My cuz moved out for about 9 weeks. For the first 5 no one on my side of the family knew except my brother. My cuz had had the sense to move in with my brother.

My cousin in law went to counseling alone since my cousin refused. They started dating, and they date to this day 4 years later. She’s learned a lot and I think my cousin has too.

Does this help at all? I’m not as clear exactly how they reconciled. I know my cousin wanted to be there for the birth of his child.

Was he not going to be in during the delivery. My H knows that he will not be there either. I am due the end of August.

My X didn't want to be there for the birth of either child. He thought I was cruel to request him to attend!
Any wonder why the M failed?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My X didn't want to be there for the birth of either child. He thought I was cruel to request him to attend! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmm, I delivered both of mine.....why would a man not want to be a part of that??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> funny, with D2, we arrived at 5:20 am at the hospital.... I scrubbed and put on the pants and shirt.... got in the birthing room..... the OBGYN instructed me over my shoulder while he was eating a bowl of Rice Krispies !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> nothing like a woman screaming and Snap Crackle Pop !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

G, it was just one more example of behavior I couldn't understand. He said he wanted kids, but never spent any time with them - then fought for 50/50 custody - which he didnt' get. But you know that story from old posts.

My first pregnancy was miserable emotionally. I had the easiest pregnancy and delivery, just a H who wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, and when he did, it was about abortion. The signs were there, the M was over. I just didn't want to see it.

Yes N I know your story and the history..... it just amazes me to the fact that there are some fathers as well as mothers out there that are...... well, just out there !!!! and why that is I dont know..... it is like they forget everything else through selfishness.... of course a repeat of the same old story....

This, along with other things in this world just make me sad...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> one thing I will always have, and on many occasion remember or have a vivid picture is holding my girls as they left Mary's womb...... something that no one can ever take from me...... of course I have other fond memories of the past 16 years but none more fullfilling.....

G, I always liked reading about you and your girls. The love shows through.

Your girls will be off to college soon. Yikes.
All grown up.

Yikes is right.... although one more year for the oldest then 2 more for youngest.... but they are quite the young ladies.... and of course men other than dad are now the catch of their eye... that is the hardest part.... but I over the last two years and being a part time dad I have finally learned how to let go (Yea right!!!)

of course on the other side.... things on the Divorce front are the same.... I had bought the oldest a T-Shirt, like the girls wear today.... plain Black with the emblazzed with "Brunnettes are the Best" and today I got an email from the ex describing her shock that I, D's father would get such a shirt for her!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I sat there picturing to myself two teenage girls all ready wearing butt hugging, low rise jeans, midrift high T-Shirts, etc..... and just went...... "HUH??" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />