Hello!

I am here because my husband and I are divorcing after 3 years of marriage. It is my first and his second. A lot of emotional instablility has taken place. He gave me a sexually transmitted disease which caused me not to be able to conceive children. That topped off with the fact he married me because he said he felt I would be a good wife and mother and not because he was in love has caused major problems. I have had my part by harboring bitterness and resentment for not being able to have kids. Now halfway thru the divorce process, not only am I having second thoughts but so is my husband. He asked me Sunday if I was willing to put our marriage into "project status" like Dr. Phil says. I told him I was not sure if I wanted to do that being that he was not in love and neither am I anymore. I am wondering if I am just being hardcore or is this really for the best?

Also, I would like to add that we have been to 4 different counselors including our pastor.

bump

Welcome, fighting. Sorry we took so long.
I don’t know if you’re being hard core. If your husband truly was never in love, it may be a little more difficult, but it’s still do-able. Was there infidelity involved? Was there abuse? How old are you two?

A lot of emotional instablility has taken place
Such as?

He gave me a sexually transmitted disease which caused me not to be able to conceive children.
How did he end up with the STD?

That topped off with the fact he married me because he said he felt I would be a good wife and mother and not because he was in love has caused major problems.
He said this before you were married & you married him anyway?

He asked me Sunday if I was willing to put our marriage into "project status" like Dr. Phil says. I told him I was not sure if I wanted to do that being that he was not in love and neither am I anymore. I am wondering if I am just being hardcore or is this really for the best?
Well, you’re NOT sure about it, so I suggest you wait until you are.

I would like to add that we have been to 4 different counselors including our pastor.
And what happened?

Thank you all for replying.

greengables,

There was no infidelity or abuse involved.

I am 31 and he is 34.

Chris,
[QB] A lot of emotional instablility has taken place

Basically going through promises not being kept. Being called names.

He gave me a sexually transmitted disease which caused me not to be able to conceive children.

He had it before we got married and did not tell me.

That topped off with the fact he married me because he said he felt I would be a good wife and mother and not because he was in love has caused major problems.

No, he told me after we got married!

[b]He asked me Sunday if I was willing to put our marriage into "project status" like Dr. Phil says. I told him I was not sure if I wanted to do that being that he was not in love and neither am I anymore. I am wondering if I am just being hardcore or is this really for the best?
Well, you’re NOT sure about it, so I suggest you wait until you are.

I would like to add that we have been to 4 different counselors including our pastor.
Things changed temporarily and went right back to the usual.

Not to diminish your pain and distress, if I had a dollar for every person here who reports there spouse told you "I'm not in love with you", I would have a lot of money.

This is typical 'fog' talk.

The "mother" he is refering to, does he have children from his previous that he wanted to find a replacement mother for? or was he hoping to have children with you

Sunrise1,

He was hoping to have children with me but had no idea that the disease progressed to cancer until after we were married. He has no children.