I have been much firmer with my WW about finances the past 2-3 months. This is because I have not had my own home for 10 months and need to rent a place ASAP, which is $500-$700 more than I can afford each month.

Anyway, as a result, on Sunday, after dropping the children home after the weekend, my WW's friend met me in the driveway and gave me an application for a court order WW had applied for. It seeks child support, spousal support, custody and guardianship.

I think WW has lost her mind. I have already been paying her well above the legally-required amount and now, quite frankly, she is risking not only losing some $$ every month, but I am so angry I am seriously considering going for custody myself. She is having an affair, left the marriage in October 2002, and now leaves the 4 children with her girlfriend one school night a week so she can go out all night.

The word I now use to describe the person who was once a fantastic mother is "unfit". Another is "dysfunctional".

Anyway, someone asked on another thread if any of us would ever take back a WS after a divorce. In my case, I would have to say this is highly unlikely.

Shaken

WOW! I would suggest moving in with a friend to save some money, get the best legal advice you can afford (even if you go into debt to do it) and follow the words of your atty.. Make sure you get yourself a real flesh eater and do your level best to protect your children..

Watching mom get her "c" busted sounds like it's next on the agenda with this woman so you don't want the kids exposed to that... I wish you all the best and if there was a chance to save the marriage I would try but if she has been gone this long and is demanding $ from you she plans to take you on a long hard ride... Good luck with this thing...

Shaken

WOW, Sometimes they just don't have a clue I guess.

My STBX just aksed to drag things out another year the way they are now(but I'll get into that in my own thread.)

Take the app. to a laywer and show her what reality is. Let her find out the way that she wants to how things are going to be.

I was given advice from a relative who went through D to start building up my own expenses. If I were you I would make that $500-$700 a reality so you can start showing how little you can afford for her to have.

I'm in the same boat. Need to find my own place, no money for it because it all goes to her and kids.

Good luck

WIWH

I know you guys need to live, but remember, the CS money goes to support the shelter, clothing and expenses of the kids, not the X.
No matter how much it is, it's typically not enough. And for a single household which was barely making it - splitting it into two is even harder.

Support your children.
And if you want to decrease CS, request more or equal overnights with your children. Be the parent you say you are - or in many cases were before the split.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> No matter how much it is, it's typically not enough. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Between WW, even with her alien abducted brain, and her family and me and my family, anything my kids need they are getting duplicate. She is the one lying, cheating, tearing apart our family, and destroying our marriage- I think it is insane for me to pay her a penny. She has even been going around the local elementary school telling teachers how wonderful D is, you get every other weekend off and collect all this child support money and has encouraged some of them to do the same. As much as I think it stinks, with yesterdays payment, I am paid through the middle of July. I don't think its right or fair but I will play by the rules.

Wondering if my wife might be a psycho. She has hardly spoken to anyone in my family for months and yesterday calls my mother, expressing real sorrow and concern that mum has broken both her wrists. Mum said she acted sweet as pie, and as if nothing has changed. This is the woman who, for lack of any other term, is suing me to maintain the level of financial support I have been paying since I moved out in July - even though this is far above the legally-required amount and prohibits me from affording even a basic apartment...

To respond to those who think that the children may be getting the short end of the stick, let me be clear that my kids will ALWAYS get their full child support ($1399) every month until they are adults. It's the other claims my wife is making that I am ready to fight against. This is also the wife who changed the locks on the house I am paying for - for no reason except that she did not want me finding anything else out about her affair. She has absolutely lost her mind. If it wasn't so tragic it would be hilarious that my wife's view of splitting the assets and the debts is that she gets the assets and I get the debts.

Saw my lawyer on Thursday and he immediately referred me to "someone who is tougher, as that is what you now need given your wife has taken this next step". Will be seeing the new lawyer Tuesday...

Shaken

I, for one, am in complete agreement with your attorney. "Tougher" is not only needed, it is way past due. Consequences of your wife's actions must be faced by HER as well as everyone else who has been dragged into her selfish pursuits.

Custody is also a "moot point", IMHO. You should have been fighting for custody all along. Do you really want your wife's stellar morals and self-oriented selfishness to be the "Role Model" for your children? Who exactly is left to tell them that things in life might not always be "fair", but there ARE some things that are Right and some things that are Wrong. You are their father. Be one to them no matter what your wife thinks or threatens.

God bless.