I learned something the other day that I thought might be helpful to all of us that are going through the pain of a divorce. I used to say and many people would tell me that I had to get over my wife and our relationship. There is a better way to conceptualize this though. We have to go through this, not over this. The grief that we are all surely feeling is normal and it will get better. It would be nice if I could just take some medicine to relieve these feelings and wake up one day and not feeling sick. But that's not how this works.

We have to grieve for the loss of our significant others and you know how you can tell things are improving? When you feel o.k. for longer periods of time. Sure, some days will be better than others. Some days you'll feel like your right back where you started but eventually you'll go days at a time without thinking about her, without wondering what she's doing. Preoccupy yourself sure but allow yourselves to grieve also. That's very important.

The other thing I wanted to say is that I know with all my heart that what my wife and I had was real. There is no denying how I felt about her. I don't believe for one second that she never loved me same way that I loved her. Sometimes love isn't enough to sustain a marriage. You need something more simple, more basic to make it. All I know is that we didn't have that.