Hello all,

You may have followed my other threads about my situation. During our most recent (last?) session with MC, he raised question of separation, vs divorce, so we have some time apart and each of us can work on our own issues.

I'm a little suspicious on this...I raised this about a month or so ago, and my quashed it. We have since spoken about how I would contest a divorce, even though I knew I would lose. This seemed to shake her up, especially since I've repeatedly said that I won't buy into telling our kids "mom and dad don't want to live together anymore, but we still love you, this is all for the best". Now, she's suddenly receptive to the idea.

Anyone have any experience with this? My goal is to resurrect the marriage, not to ease my wife's road to divorce...is this as bad an idea as my gut tells me that is? Any ideas, experiences, etc., would be greatly appreciated...thanks!!!

Bob

W and I seperated before we actually ever went to MC.

We agreed to go to MC rather than seperate and 2 days later she wanted both.

it took a few sessions with MC for her to get up the guts to say that what she really wanted was a D.

Our temporary seperation during MC turned into 9 months of preparing for D

We are now seeing a mediator and I am looking for a lawyer.

I,m sure this isn't very encouraging for you but as I told my W when this started for me

I believe that seperation is just a way to get used to being apart!

WIWH

Seems to be the same for me, just a method for her to feel better about letting me down easy so to speak. We are still in our seperation and she says it is just a matter of time and money before she files for divorce. I think it is just that in my case. I think my problem is we lost everything house, cars, I mean everything after I lost my job. I had to move in with my parents until my new job starts. Therefore I am 600 miles away. My MC/IC (IC since she wont go, YET) has told me I need to be super involved and do everything I can to be around the kids (not her) and she would see that, and when I speak to her I need to be friends so to speak. The notion I got was that if a seperation was to work I still needed to be involved in what the family was doing. At this point I am not sure it is going to work, because to me it feels like she is building a new life and I am just a forced to sit and watch and always have to work around that new life if I want to see my kids. Of course I am an amatuer but from my view point it is not working much, next week I am moving back to that city so things may change drastically who knows.