I took a week of vacation to go as see my boys.
I discussed this with soon to be X and I we agreed to set up a time.
I again find myself playing phone tag.
This will be the 4th weekend in a row.
He has some MB friends visiting this weekend and I talked to him for a second and he agreed to get back with me in 20 minutes.
I guess time with MB friends came first before me being able to make plans with him about visitation with my boys.
I don't know when I will see them again.
I have to chase him down just to find out when I can see them.
I can't help but feel that he is hurting me with the boys.
He of course does not see that.
I am so tired of this.
He knows because I cannot afford an attorney I am at his mercy.
I am really starting to hate him. He plays so many little mind games. I leave message after message every weekend to see if I can see the boys and he never returns a call or a message.
Then he tells me to call his work and he acts like nothing is wrong.
He really believes that he is doing nothing wrong.
I could really use some feedback right about now.

I don't know what to say. I can only offer cyber hugs to you.

((((((((((((( A )))))))))))))

Karen

p.s. I answered your post to me the other week, but hadn't seen it until a few days after you wrote it.

It is so hard for people here to think the WS is capable of emotion.
Our actions towards our spouse and our families have shown otherwise.
When in an affair it is all based on self cradification. The moment.
When the fog lifts only then do we realize the pain and suffering we have caused so many in our lives.
It is at that point that we reach out for help.
We ask for forgiveness and we start forgiving ourselves.
I know that for many years I tried to make my marriage a very good one.
H was all I wanted and all I knew.
He was the person I wanted to take my last breath with.
We cannot make up for the amount of pain that we have caused. I don't however believe that it deserves the punishment of loosing our children.

<small>[ May 31, 2004, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: lucidity ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
We cannot make up for the amount of pain that we have caused. I don't however believe that it deserves the punishment of loosing our children.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Damage to a marital relationship should never affect a relationship with your children.

I can't offer any advice, but I can offer support. You did not have an A on your children. You didn't go to the park and play with other peoples kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But seriously, regardless of what you did or didn't do, it is best for them to have a healthy relationship with both of their parents.

WIWH

There should be some type of legal aid in your area that can set you up with proper visitation with your children. Shouln't cost you much if anything. But this way you would have in writing when and how often and for what length of time you can see your boys.

My x before he was that had written our own agreement and had it notorized as far as vistation and things, I don't know how binding it would have been put to the test, but it worked for us. He still wanted to be a part of their lives just not mine.

Best wishes to you!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

There should be some type of legal aid in your area that can set you up with proper visitation with your children. Shouln't cost you much if anything. But this way you would have in writing when and how often and for what length of time you can see your boys.

My x before he was that had written our own agreement and had it notorized as far as vistation and things, I don't know how binding it would have been put to the test, but it worked for us. He still wanted to be a part of their lives just not mine.

Best wishes to you!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />