Thank you for your interest. Well here goes.<p>What needs does your wife have that you are meeting now?
Well she filled ou the emotional need survey with all zeros. But have given her my van when hers lost an engine ( neither of us can afford to fix, but I will asap) and I now drive an illegal 1978 motorhome. I watch the girls, take them all where they need to go, pay for their lessons and such to the point that I am broke. I wash dishes and care for animals in her rented house, fix the appliances the landlord dont,,, aw skip it.<p>Have you asked her what you can do to help her?
She says she need time to decide whether she wants to be married to me or not. To me after, June 1 will be 24years, this does not compute. Is not an option or wedding vows did not mention this.<p>
Have you learned what gives her loving feelings?
Well it used to be alchohol, but we quit drinking. She had for several months needed Benadryl to be in the same bed with me to combat hives, with varying degrees of sucsess. Uh well no I have not and she has not been able to tell me.<p>Do you listen to her when she says to STOP, or Don't DO that?
When I was a drunk I tried but was never good enough, havent had much oppertunity since,when we dried up so did she<p>Do you hear her when she talks to you?
Yes but she speaks so rarely and understates her feelings , compounded by my adhd that she does not find satisfaction in this. I have taken to having her write down important things and this seems to help, both her taking me seriously and my ability to respond.<p>Do you follow her lead?
Right now there might as well be a ring in my nose. But before she left she would not take a lead as she "had me in a box" as not caring, so that even when I tried she blew anything I did off as either my way or "just to get sex". I can understand how we got there but am having trouble leaving!<p>Or are you forcing, manipulating, controlling her bahaviors now?
Yeah right, and the Talliban controls the Whitehouse. Sorry, no not at all.<p>You said you pushed your wife into marrying you - tell us about that.<p>When I was introduce to her she was almost 15 and had lost her father to cancer the year b4. Her mother had been in and out of hospitals for years with profound depression from(unknown to me at the time) having been raped and forced to have an abortion at 16. I had roughly a dozen girls that I dated and wanted to mary but my feelings for her blew the rest out the window, it was litteraly love at first sight. Mom was cold as a pickle and Dad just beat the **** out of me as a mater of routine. I didnt know what love was but craved it. Unfortunately in our first few dates I managed to get my hand down her pants. That was as far as it went. I soon proposed. Her mother had instilled her with such wisdom as she felt she was "damaged goods" and she felt that even though she couldnt stand me(she says now but I couldnt tell at the time) she felt that she had no choice but to accept. After two years she graduated (after going to great trouble to graduate a year early) and we were to mary. She finaly went to her preacher and decided that she didnt have to mary me. She told me 2 days before the wedding. I was advissed that this was just the jitters. I told her that I loved her so much that I would probly shoot myself if she didnt mary me. So she did.<p>At this point reading this I feel like the stupidest person in the world. But I would rather tell all and try to fix this than to eat a load of buckshot. I will apreciate any sugjestions. Thank you.
