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#772129 06/02/04 02:17 AM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 826
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Posts: 826
Hi everyone-

I was at a sporting event for one of my kids tonight. My XH was there as well, but the OW who is usually attached to his hip wasn't. It was there time with the kids and while he was there with three of them she was home with our youngest.

Anyway, he is mister friendly, talking to me, joking around, etc. My XH was goofing around with our oldest telling her how she was so much like me and he wondered if she had any of his traits. He told her that although he was glad she had all of my good traits he really hoped she'd at least be a bit like him. I tell him that I have to leave and will check back to see if they are still there (there are multiple games) or home so I can pick up the kids and he volunteers to run the kids home or whatever I want. I tell him thanks, but it won't be necessary. I don't know why, but he was really friendly, really flirty, etc. We were near one of my best friend's husbands who used to be quite close to my XH as well. He had a look on his face like what's up.

Well, up walks the OW. She looks totally ticked that he is talking to me. It was suddenly like night and day difference. My XH who has been smiling and joking around for the past half hour is suddenly quiet, not talking to anyone, and not even smiling anymore.

I had to leave then to attend a work function so I say that I'll see them in a couple of hours and will check in as discussed to see where they'll be. He quietly says okay and she glares at me and says that'll be fine even though she has no clue what I'm talking about.

I come back a couple of hours later and they are sitting off to the side of everyone else. My friend has now joined her husband and she says that she heard that before OW showed up that my XH was quite friendly. She's like what's with that. I tell her that I have no clue and I don't care, but that I am intrigued by the OW's reaction. I joke that from the looks of things he's been banished to the corner. Then my youngest sees me and runs away from them to be by me. I get more daggers from the OW. Hello, I am her mother!

I guess the whole point of this is that things aren't always what they appear to be. For a while tonight I saw glimpses of the good, fun side of my XH. Then in an instant the OW walks in and poof he's gone. I also think of the way she reacted and you could not get me to trade places with her for anything. The look on her face was of total mistrust and insecurity. What a horrible way to live.

They are getting married in two weeks and she is throwing the happy family image at everybody. She is so in your face with it. If it was really there she would just let it be, but she has to force it. The kids are tiring of it, my XH seems to be too.

Maybe I am wrong, but they sure don't appear to a very happy couple. I know that from the looks on their faces tonight that I am very happy that I am not either one of them.

Could it be the beginning of what comes around goes around? Will they be yet another example of be careful what you wish for you might just get it? Will they be yet another unhappy affair statistic?

I really walked away tonight with a feeling of relief. I am comfortable where I am and I realize that in spight of all the pain they caused me and all the problems they continue to cause, I am so much better off and I wouldn't their life for anything!

I truly do not wish them any ill will, and can't say that I would even say that I am happy with what I saw, but I can say I feel vindicated, it is yet another example of reality setting in and it reaffirms that it really wasn't just me and that they probably aren't getting the fairy tale ending they thought they would.

Take care and God bless!
K

#772130 06/02/04 03:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 137
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still reeling........

Same situation with me.......
My ex-wife when she is by herself is somewhat approachable, even friendly......
but when the other man is with her (which is most of the time)....watch out, It is like I don't even exist or worse that I am some criminal....

I just noticed....today....would have been our 18th anniversery....

#772131 06/02/04 07:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,430
K
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Posts: 1,430
Well,
Sounds like to me someone has problems in their so called paradise!!
I'm thinking little miss is a bit jealous!
Boy, he went for the big life didn't he.

I bet you never imagined you would be at the point where you didn't find the slightest pleasure in their discomfort.

Sounds like they are building a beginning to a miserable life together.

For me, I can't imagine X chatting with me. We are not at all at that point.
For a long time he thought we could be buddies, but I wasn't ready for that, and he gave up.
I hope someday though, that I will be at a better place, and that I can talk to him, for the girls sake.

Very interesting read, Keep us posted on the wedding.

K.

#772132 06/02/04 10:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 384
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Rufus, that is EXACTLY how it is with me. My wife is half way decent when he is not around her. But I can always tell when he is in the room with her when we are on the phone; she is cold, argumentative...just nasty. It's like she is trying to appease him by fighting with me just to let him know, "see, you have nothing to worry about". In fact, she always manages to say, "I don't want to be with you" no matter what we are talking about. It's like she has tourette's. Out of the blue, "I dont' want to be with you".

#772133 06/02/04 10:18 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 377
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I can't even imagine talking to WW while OM is with her. I probably have on the phone and didn't know and its probably for the best that I didn't. She did call once on his cell phone when she was out of town. Those calls will no longer be answered.


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