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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
Did anyone see the news this mornings about the mother in NYC who lost custody of her four-year old twins, to their married father?
The mother called the press to film the transfer of the kids, and they were all crying and upset.
It was a fiasco.
I honestly believe that it is our job as parents to minimize the impact on the children. Not to hide the circumstances, but to consider their emotions above ours.
These children were born out of wedlock, but it was such a heartwrenching scene to watch.
Any opinions on this?
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
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I didn't see the news but
I don't think its right for any child to have to be taken from their parent unless it is absolutely best for their own welfare, physically or mentally. And those conditions would have to be extreem!!!
I would never even think of taking my kids from their mother, it's just wrong
WIWH
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14 |
Sorry to butt in however...
My husband and I are headed for divorce. We have a 2 year old daughter. My husband has told me that I cannot leave him and take my daughter with me, or he will press kidnapping charges. Right now we live in NY, my family is in NH. I cannot afford to live in NY, but he is telling me that I cannot leave the state. He is emotionally abusive and he lies and cheats, I cant lose my daughter.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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If if is truly an abusive situation, get to a local women's crisis center. They can help you with counseling, and possibly legal aid.
Just so you know, most states do not allow divorced parents to move out of state without the other parent's permission. I'm in NJ and this is the case.
You can, of course, visit your family, but it sounds as if you are talking about moving there.
Get some real legal advice before doing anything drastic which may impact your position if it becomes a custody battle.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14
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Joined: May 2004
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Thanks for your reply. I would like to move to NH. My whole family is there. My husband grew up in NY and I moved down here after we got married. I dont want to stay here. I want to get my daughter as far away from here as possible.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
My attorney said that my children are now the responsibility of the state of our marriage, which is also not my home state. Without X's permission, I cannot move out of state. Once moved, the state cannot oversee "their children".
Many spouses don't care if the children move out of state. If yours cares, you are likely in for a fight. In this case, you must be able to prove it is in the best interest of your child for you to move - not in your best interest.
And the courts are unlikely to remove a parent's right to see their child on a regular basis - particularly if they were an involved parent prior to the marital problems.
Get Legal advice. And counseling for yourself.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14
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Joined: May 2004
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We were married in NH, currently live in NY, but our daughter was born in NJ. i dont know where to go.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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You live in NY so go somewhere in NY. I live in NJ and there is an excellent women's crisis center in my area, with great free counseling on emotional abuse and other areas.
You are on the internet. Search for a women's crisis center in your area. Get to a library to check out books on divorce for reference materials. You need a plan before you make a move. Don't act rashly.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
Newly's right. As your h. hit or harmed your daughter? How about you? Sometimes courts are more lenient if there has been physical abuse.
Child support should help you be able to afford the cost of living. If you are in NYC, you could always move out into the state. It's cheaper there.
Have you gotten an attorney?
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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The children were the result of an affair by the married guy with the single mother.
She was trying to get custody and told her girls to lie that he was sexually abusing them.
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