Im not sure if this is where I should have posted this, please bare with me if Im in the wrong area.

Recently separated from my H , I would like to know what everyone is donig for a visitation
schedule for thier childern? Right now my H just calls at his convenience, what best fits his plans for the weekend, he will work the baby in, but will not keep him overnight. I beleive he is doing this so that I cant make any plans of my own confused to do things with our our child. I would like to set up a set schedule.
any ideas?
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Hi TryingHard--

When I was first separated, mine did the same.
It wasn't until we had our first court date did a schedule get set.

My XH was out for himself, and his time.

Since the days/times have been scheduled, he has not followed through still.
He is to have them (which was his idea)every Thursday night, for the night, which he does not do, every other Tuesday for a couple of hours. And, has them every other weekend.

My best advice to you would be to get something in writing.
As in my case though, not sure how well it will hold up.

Good luck to you.
K.

The age of the child has a great deal to do with visitation (now called parenting time). There are two great books, Mom's House/Dad's House, and also "how to help your kids cope with divorce the Sandcastles way" (not exact title but close).
The second book has suggested visition based on the age of the children. And sample parenting agreements.
good Luck.

Thanks guys any info is great!!

Hi -
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. When my ex H left, I was pregnant with our third child. The girls were 3 and 1. I went to my lawyer immediately to get a seperation agreement in place while waiting for the divorce to go through. The agreement with the girls was one night a week overnight and one night a week for dinner. Once my son was born, we didn't do overnights for 2 years. He went along with the girls on the once a night for dinner thing, along with a few other times during the day for things like Christmas, etc. I nursed, and we met with a family counselor who said he didn't recommend overnights until the age of 3. We compromised on age 2 - he was weaned by that time. Now my children are 6,4, and 3, and they go every other weekend and one night a week for dinner. I am flexible to a point with my ex H on that dinner night, but need at least a day notice so I can make plans of my own. Good luck. It isn't easy or fun, but once a routine gets established and emotions aren't running as high, it does get easier.

Here is a link to suggested visitation schedules based on the ages of the children:

http://www.sc.co.pima.az.us/domestic/Visitation_Guidelines.htm

Be sure to see a lawyer to start the ball rolling on getting things more official. It helps with the healing when you have it arranged ahead of time, b/c you can focus your energies on other things instead of fretting over access.

Karen