<small>[ August 30, 2004, 07:43 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

I hesitate every time I use "trying". Its too wishy washy. Too much like well maybe I don't know, we'll see. Trying and doing are not the same thing.

You are describing what I did at the end of my marraige. I let go. Now I am trying to clean up the mess my stbxh made of my life and my kids life.

They are still not in counsoling despite the emotional incest he makes the go thru. They feel guilty to have good time with me and spy and take it all home to him.

As soon as things get going well for me he strikes again. The kids say they love me and wow I get served with papers again with lies.

I am moving on. What is meant to be will make itself known. I pray. I try so hard to forgive him. I am ready for new life to enjoy life without worrying about getting yelled at for being me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Thoughts? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think the rollercoaster ride stops that easy. It is hard to give up on what you wish and hope for.

I think that it takes time and the "stop trying" part comes to each of us in it's own time. Once you get over that fear that you won't be able to restore what you wish and hope, you get real and are able to face the truth.

There is a constant reminder of how things "would be, could be, should be... as we wish and hope" every time you see X or children, triggering the behavior that starts the rollercoaster all over again.

I do admit that the rides keep getting shorter and the truth continues to come closer but each individual needs to let go and move on emotionally in their own time.

doing the 180 and forcing yourself to move on would probably be like getting off one rollercoaster just to get on a differnt one. And that whole time you will still be trying to figure out which rollercoaster is better for you.

WIWH

No wish I were home letting the marraige go only lets the marragige go that is only getting off the roller coaster ride. the choice to get on another rooller coaster is a different action.

Everyone here and elsewhere tried to make me see that. That I should give it more time. (I look at it as trying to make me stay on a dead roller coaster) I am ready for another roller coaster. I am healthy. Ready for another ride.

Everyone is not that ready to move on. Your choice to get off is yours. Your choice to get on another is separate. I took weeks, months of crying to move on. I knew it was over so I concentrated on moving on. I want another roller coaster. I just hope I fit in the seat better. I pray I have a seat waiting to fit me.

<small>[ June 08, 2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Stone Cold ]</small>