So here's our story....<p>I was sexually molested by my birth father when I was 12 years old. I remained silent until I married my husband (#2)at age 38. He confided to me that he, too, had been molested by a family friend (male) when he was 12. We found this common bond comforting and secure. Revealing this information to my husband started a whirlwind of emotion that has taken me through 6 years of therapy (still going) and completely "outing" this horrible situation to my siblings and my mother. I have come through it, however, and today feel the most healthy sense of well-being I have ever known. During this time, my husband has been very supportive and a true friend when I felt I had none. The time has come, many times, when my illness has created tension and problems in our marriage....namely in the area of intimacy. My husband has "used" my continued therapy as a means, in my opinion, to avoid placing any responsibility for marital problems on his shoulders in any way. He claims he has "dealt" with his molestation, but I can tell you that to try and do that alone is just about impossible. It necessitates continued therapy as well as the continued support of loved ones. My husband has tryed to deal with this on his own, but there is alot of anger inside of him. This anger comes out in frequent arguments with me that end in violent yelling and throwing objects (not at me thank God!) or breaking things. It has come to the point that I feel myself "distancing" myself from him more and more. I'm afraid that if he waits much longer to agree to therapy, it will be too late for us. I don't want to lose the passion I feel for him. It is this passion that I feel makes life worthwhile between two people. He is ADAMANT that he WILL NOT go to therapy....EVER!! In my therapy sessions, my therapist has stated that he needs to deal with this anger in a way that he and I can share this together and help eachother, but again, he won't listen to anything I say when it comes to therapy or counseling. <p>Do any of you have suggestions on how I can approach this (something I haven't done before) so that I can get across to him how SERIOUS this is?? I am learning boundaries right now, and one thing I'm learning is that I want harmony in my life. Waiting for his explosions over the simplest of arguments is wearing me down and I feel I'm ready to call it quits. After 7 years of marriage, I don't want to do that. HELP!!
