Hi all. Those who know my story know my WW as the sparrow. Two days ago the sparrow told me she wants a D.

Today I started trying to get my finances sorted out. All our mortgage documents and several recent reports on her retirement funds have been taken from our files.

I know she has talked to OM about how the two of them could get money. He has one child, one on the way, and tons of debt. Plus, she needs a place to live ASAP. I think she is cashing out her retirement. It is much smaller than mine, but in the division of assets she gets half of mine. If she empties hers and spends it all, half of hers is nothing. So she gets half of mine and I get none of hers.

All the evidence of her recent financial scheming has me very nervous. Can anybody give me advice about anything else I should do or anything I should look out for?

What I've done so far:

Opened an individual bank account where my money will go.
Spoken with a lawyer and a mortgage broker about what it will take for me to keep my house.

Thanks for any advice.

GC

I don't know where you live - but here in the State of Oregon a married person can not take money out of their retirement account without the spouses signature. It is state law - written for this very reason.
You should see if that applies to your state as well.
Did you freeze any joint credit cards? Be sure to do that right away.
Also- get a copy of your credit report to see if she has taken out any new cards that you don't know about.
I wish you were not in this position, and hope that your WW comes to her senses - but, meanwhile, it sounds like she is getting advice from OM. You need to take steps to protect yourself.

Thanks, WOF5. I'll have to find out about the law here regarding those retirement accounts. I have online access to hers, so I know what's in there even though she pinched the quarterly reports.

She has a credit card that I'm authorized to use. I have online access to it with a password she doesn't have. So the way things are, I can monitor the activity on that card. If I was to cancel the account there'd be nothing to stop her from going out and getting another card, and this way I'll know if she uses it.

All this may sound sneaky - my only intention is to avoid allowing her to hurt me any further.

GC

did you file for divorce yet? If so, in my state you are protected and any debt after filing is your own debt, and you would still get 1/2 of her retirement - even if she spent the money, your value is intact.

I Highly recommend you cancel all joint accounts (the credit card). Shec an get a new account only in her name if she chooses.
Whoever's name is on the account is legally liable for the debt, EVEN if only one person charges it all.