Tuesday Ticklers is a thing of the past.

Need a new thread going here> I've been saving up some contributions!!

WIWH

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 08:59 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Wish - I'm typically only around 8-5/m-f CST. Anyway's what's on your mind.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

How do you know when a Blonde is about to say something smart?


When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

(A good short one so we men can remember it)

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:

"Fun fun fun worry worry worry"

A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

“””WISH said - This is right. GG turned this dirty and "Took advantage" of LH's innocence.”””

That’s right, I feel so violated and used.

“””GG - You distinctly mentioned sucking face not to mention cruising for chics.”””

And I say again, how is that dirty. Now if I’d said I enjoy cruises where chics are sucking face, then that could be construed as “dirty”.

I myself am not into cruising for chics. But, sucking face is ... fun.

”””GG - You are not innocent of all charges.”””

Do I have the right to appeal or could I seek a diversion?

“””LL Ok... y'all "started it". In just a few short months, I become a virgin again. You know, the seven year rule.”””

WHAT seven years. Heck no. Ain’t gonna happen.

”””It's not too difficult to get "tempted" at this point. LH it took all I had not to ask to meet you somewhere.”””

I had the leer jet on standby all weekend. Well maybe not a leer jet but the limo was parked outside. Well maybe not the limo but my brand new SUV was gassed up and ready to go. Well maybe not the SUV but my bicycle had air in the tires and that’s a fact.

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 09:00 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not feeling tempted to RISK my 7 year title here!! lol </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Laura, do you realy think it's fair to torture men like this. How long will you make us wait for you ????

Just kidding, I'm sure you're well worth any wait!

“””’LH... "A man once told me..." there IS a 7 year rule!””””

Really, a man told you that? Well it must be true unless you heard it wrong. That could be it, you probably weren’t listening very well and he was talked about breaking a mirror. Cause I can tell you that after almost 3 years I feel very virginified.

“”"The re-virginized... laura_lee"””

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch or don’t hatch whatever the case may be.

”””oh no! a bicycle, possibly, with air in the tires?... oh, I get it. Another Pee Wee Herman.”””

ROTFLMAO I haven’t been called that since the incident in the theater.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?

A: For throwing out the W's.


Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stop right now!! Before we go any further... well, "the one" hasn't responded appropriately </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If he responds "Let me sleep on it" I don't think he's "the one"


LH, did you catch the "A man once told me..." that laura quoted from an earlier blonde joke?

<small>[ June 14, 2004, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: WishI WereHome ]</small>

How many men does it take to open a beer?


None. It should be opened when she brings it.

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Laura, I know who you mean and maybe some day he will straighten out for you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Clearly, God has a sense of humor (though how could he ever approve of that last joke you told! lol). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK How about a joke that doesn't attack gender.

Some BS's may even like this stategy!

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order."

O'Malley was shocked and saddened. But, being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting.

"Well, son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Lets head to the pub and have a few pints.

After 3 or 4 pints, or more, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and some more beers.

They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends, who were curious! as to what the two were celebrating.

O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good as well as the bad. He went on to tell his friends that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.

After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone."

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by laura_lee:
<strong> Hey LH, you PETA friend:

Save the whales! Collect the whole set.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I love kitty cats, they taste just like Chicken.

I guess I'm in the dark on "The One". Went to an appointment, came back and y'all are talking in code.

Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?

A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm "to die for". He has to lay down his life... and marry me.[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What a coincidence, my X-wife was to die for too. I swear to goodness, if I would have had to live another year with that woman, I would of killed myself. Is that what you mean by he must lay down his life?

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">With me, LH, it would be paradise. :-)

[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LL you're definately not lacking in the confidence department, are you?

I was about to correct the STBX statement but you beat me too it.

Did you go to church this weekend? That was part of the Methodist lectionary for this weekend.

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 09:05 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>