Little Kid Giggles:
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from
the
shock, I heard myfive-year-old shout
from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seatbelt!"
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My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So
I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there
thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one
out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."
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On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his
parents."
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A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.
During
her struggle the phone rang so she
asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the
minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now.
She's hitting the bottle."
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I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing,
my family eats a considerable amount of
wild game. So much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of
broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my
ten-year-old daughter looked up and said, "Boy, it sure would be nice
if
pizzas lived in the woods."
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A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. "The secret," she
said, "is to get the left part of the zipper
to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up." The boy looked
at<p>her quizzically..."Why does it have to be a secret?"
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When my daughter was three, we watched Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs
for the first time. The wicked
queen appeared, disguised as an old lady selling apples, and my
daughter
was spellbound. Then Snow White
took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious.
As
the apple rolled away, my daughter
spoke up. "See, Mom. She doesn't like the skin either."
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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then> asked, "What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a little
boy before?"